Charming (Sons Of Anarchy)

Chapter 38

Trigger Warning: Rape.

Ethel's POV:

I awoke with a scream as I jolted up on the exhausted and ripped bed. My hands were handcuffed together behind my back and my feet were tied to the bed by my ankles. Pain surged through my head, constantly throbbing over and over again, as if someone was constantly stabbing me in the head. My entire body was aching and hurting, I felt like complete shit. Dizzy, confused, scared, aching. I didn't know where I was, I had no clue. But I knew I had been here for a while. But I couldn't figure out the days from nights.

With a slightly blurry vision, I looked at the disgustingly filthy bed below me. There was blood smeared all over it, I knew exactly what from too. It matched the smears on my undies. Biting the insides to my cheeks, the tears slowly began to fill my eyes. Everything that I could remember was playing over in my head, but what I couldn't remember what scared me more. Cheek had me that doped up on so many different drugs, I barely even knew what was going on or if I was dreaming everything. Whether my reality was my dream or vice versa. It was horrible. Feeling my tears roll down my cheeks, I let out a quiet sob and stared at my bruised and almost frail looking body. I was terrified, exhausted. I felt disgusting, like absolute filth. Especially after the things Cheek did to me. I didn't feel clean, I didn't feel good like I use to.

What upset me the most was I felt like I had betrayed Jax, regardless it being forced upon me. I was scared to ever admit to Jax about the rape, scared that he would throw me away like rubbish. Why would he want me now? I was disgusting.

With my crying becoming more audible, I buried my face in my knees. I missed Jax, I missed everything about him, everything about the club. I felt safe there and especially in his embrace, I felt at home there. But now? Who knew if I'd ever get back there or see any of them again. I didn't even know if I would get out of this alive and if I couldn't get out? I'd rather hang myself before deal with any of this anymore.

I had to get out of here, whilst I wasn't so incredibly doped up. While I had the chance to think to myself and know what was going on. I had no chance when I was off my head or unconscious because of what they either injected me with or forced down my throat.

"Well just look at you, don't you look like shit." A voice started me as I cried to myself.

Snapping my head up, ignoring my head beginning to spin, I stared over to the man in the doorway. It wasn't Cheek, it was his bitch. Esai Alvarez, that's if I heard or remembered correctly.

"Let me go, please." I begged, the hot tears still running down my cheeks.

"Not so tough now without that knife of yours." He commented, his arms crossed over his chest and he stared at me.

I didn't answer, I refused to. I just continued to cry as I looked down at my bloodied and scuffed knees.

"I heard you're Jax Teller's ol' lady." He walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

Again I didn't answer, I kept myself from even looking remotely in his direction.

Which seemed to be something he didn't appreciate, considering he grabbed me by my hair and ripped my head back to look up at him. Letting out a louder cry, I stared up at him hopelessly, trying to shake his grip off.

"You will look at me when I'm talking to you, bitch!" He hissed.

~

I didn't know how long I had been out for. I just remembered that I had come to several times and each time whoever had entered where I was kept, always looked different. Different clothes, clean shave or beard. It made me wonder if I had been that doped up for weeks on end. I had no idea. All I knew was this was the first time in a long time that I recalled being conscious and actually knowing I was.