Stress is something I've become used to.
I've felt like a single mother lately.
"Momma?" Ethan says.
When I don't answer, I hear him giggle.
"Momma?"
I lick the envelope, sealing it shut, and then I run outside really quick to put it in the mailbox.
"Mommy?" Ethan asks.
"Yes?" I ask, rushed, filling out more bills and sealing them.
"I need to potty." He says.
I peer at him through my glasses.
They do this.
They do this when they want something.
Our five year old, Emily, she's on the left. Ethan, our four year old, he's in the middle, and to the right of him is Declan, and he's three.
When they want something, they line up and say they need to potty until I look at them.
It's not like I don't pay attention to my children, because I do. I really, really do.
It's that I'm so busy. Tyler has been gone for six months because his company was getting a lawsuit and when he got there for an overnight trip, he had no idea how terrible both of our companies are.
It's July, and we're going to spend the summer in Southampton at Mom and Dad's.
With everyone.
It's going to be stressful but I haven't seen my husband in six months and I really miss him.
He left with just one small kiss, under the impression he'd be home the next day.
Well, he wasn't.
They all peer at me, batting their eyelashes.
All three of the kids have brown eyes.
Emily has my eyes. Ethan and Declan have Tyler's. Emily's hair was dark and wavy when she was born, but by the time she hit a year old, her hair was blonde and wavy, like Tyler's Mom. It slowly got darker, and now it's a dirty blonde. It's going back to my shade.
Ethan has Tyler's eyes. When he was born, he has Tyler's hair color but my waves, but when he hit a year old, his hair went blonde like Emily and now, at four years old, his hair is the same shade of dirty blonde as Emily's, only Ethan's is going to Tyler's shade of brown, not mine.
And Declan, he has big brown eyes, just like Tyler.
Ethan has Tyler's eyes and hair color, but he has my head shade and my lips and nose.
Declan though, is the spitting image as Tyler. He has soft, delicate features and Tyler's lips and nose. His eyes are big and brown, Tyler's shade. His hair is the same shade as Emily and Ethan because he came out blonde and is now turning into Tyler's shade.
I love my babies.
"Mommy?" Emily smiles.
"Yes. What is it?' I ask, sealing the final envelope.
"We miss Daddy." Declan frowns.
Declan isn't a Daddy's boy and he's not a Mommy's boy.
He's a both boy.
They're all both.
Emily though, she favors Tyler.
She loves everyone and Emily is obsessed with bunnies, but she really loves Tyler. Ethan favors me, but Declan doesn't have a favorite.
