Time crept by slowly, the hands of time hauntingly counting down the days of my life. Tick tock, tick tock.
The months passed. May. June. July. Just one more month of pain, I thought. Then, it would all be over. I could finally be in a pain-free environment. What a happy thought that is, knowing that I can finally smile.
I would miss him. I knew I would. But at least I know that I could watch him from above and smile at his successes and happiness in life.
July passed with the usual pain and tears. I knew I was running out of time. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell David. I could not be so selfish and ruin his happy life with Ann. I see him everyday yet not once did he see me.
I’ve memorized his schedules and followed him around just so I could see him more often.
Why did I do that…?
All that brought me was more pain and sorrow.
But why? Why did I have to be so dumb?
I guess it’s because I still haven’t let go of the love we used to have. I still love him more than anything in the world. No matter how he treated me. I know that somewhere, deep down, he loves me too…
August 1, 2008. I could feel it.
My time on earth was coming to an end.
Today I watched with tears as David and Ann walked hand-in-hand to church. I should really be happy for him because he found the true love of his life.
But somehow, after all these years, I couldn’t bring myself to smile for you. No one, but me, knew how I truly felt. I hated Ann for stealing him away. I hated what he did to me. I hated the fact that he chose her instead of me.
I was angry. Very angry. But what would that do? It didn’t affect him at all…
August 7, 2008. Tomorrow I would finally die. The date of my death had to be August 8. Just six years ago, on the very same day, David had asked me to be his.
And it was just five years ago when he broke my heart. Everything happened on August 8th and so would my death.
Earlier today, I consumed a large quantity of pills. I slowly waited for my life to end. I sat on the bed that evening, finishing this story. I suddenly felt really tired and I knew I only had hours left.
I sat for a while, memories running in and out of my head
. I thought about the happy year that I spent with David and the smiles on our faces.
Our first kiss…hug… -everything.
Automatically, I take out my silver box one last day.
One by one, I recited every word of all his letters with tears in my eyes. I clutched them tightly to my heart, hoping the he’ll remember me even after today.
His words filled my head until I could think of nothing else. I cried long that night, and I knew there was one last thing I had to do. Impulsively, I reached for my phone and dialed his number.
