| C H A P T E R : T H I R T E E N |
Kaysly's POV
"What? ... What is it?" He says taking my hand in concern. I just feel so bad that what I have to say might change everything. I just hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me.
"... Can we go inside?" I say.
We go back into the restaurant and sat at a table for two and when he sits across from me and I don't say anything he, looks at me blankly ... So now this is the part when I say something… It's just so hard, because I feel so weak inside.
"Can you promise me something?" I said, even though I know what I am about to ask him is something that he cannot promise.
"What?" He said curiously.
"You promise you won't be mad at--"
"Come on Kaysly, don't play games with me." He said, impatiently cutting me off.
"I'm not!" I pleaded.
"Then just tell me what is bothering you." He said lowering his voice and his eyes full of gentleness.
I don't look at his face when I say this, because that's what will kill me the most. Seeing his face expression when I tell him this. This can possibly, literally kill me.
I look down at my palms and start talking...
Caden's POV
I have to go to the doctor's office twice a month to see how my meds are working out. It's literally a pain in the as*, the pills that they have me taking are huge and I have to take a dozen of them a day. If only there was another way...
I walk into the doctor's office and wait for him while he is working with other patient, which came here before me. All around the room are pictures of the human body posted up on pale white walls.
The silence in this room is driving me crazy because all I have to myself are my thoughts. The thought of how I still haven't told my parents about this ... And if they found out?
They would have to hear it from my doctor; not me. I don't want to hear the sound of my mother's aggravating, over-defensive, whining voice. My father is just looking for a reason so my mother could kick me out, and he just might get it.
Doctor John comes into the room and as always he tries to sound enthusiastic as possible with my results. I just wish he would cut the crap.
"How are you Caden?" He said, grinning at me.
"Same." I say simply.
"Oh, come on, nothing going on at home? Or friends?" He says.
"I'm just here for my results," I say, humorless.
He sighs, dramatically.
"Everything looks well, Caden; the pills are working just the way we want them to," he said enthusiastically.
"Can I go now?" I say, sliding out of my chair.
"Have you told your parents?" He said, less enthusiastic this time.
"No." I say.
"It's Important for them to know, like they have to know."
"Yeah I know I haven't gotten around to it …" I lie.
"Is there something going on, that you can't tell them?" He says curiously.
"No …" I say, looking away.
"Do you want me talk to them?" He said, concerned.
I really thought about this, before answering. I could never face my parents if they found out. I'm tired of living in a lie and they have to know right? Just not from me …
"Go ahead," I said, carelessly.
Kaysly's POV
"I don't know what to say." He said in disbelief.
"I am really--"
"Sorry?" He said raising his voice.
"That's all? I mean you say you are ... But I don't think you really are."
"What do you mean?" I say, wiping the tear's that blurred my vision.
"I think you want me to forgive you ... so you won't have to live with the guilt." He said getting even angrier.
"No, I don't I want this to work--"
"You don't want to hurt my feelings." He said, cutting me off.
"Because I love you." I say, slamming my fist against the table. A few people look at our table, then they go back to their food.
"You love, Caden." He said simply, getting up to leave.
"As a friend!" I say. Why don't people get it?
"Be more realistic, come down to earth, and get real. You love him much more than that." He said, walking away now.
****************************************
That evening when I went back to my dorm I walk into my room ignoring my roommate,
Hayley, and her curiosity to why I was crying. I dropped to the floor, hoping that my tears would flood my life and drown me in it. I hate that I lost two special people in my life, and since I was too stubborn, caring, and hiding a secret, I lost both of them.
I hear my roommate, Hayley, knocking on my bedroom door and every time she talks on the other side of the door, and I don't respond she knocks even harder. Her knocking on my door causes my book shelf behind the door to vibrate, and she knocks down my Bible. The page that it opens to is, Psalms 13.
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?
How longmust I wrestle with my thoughts and the sorrow I have every day in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep indeath; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust inYour unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has been goodto me.
