Losing Rene?

Ch5

Nearly five years later, here I stand, at the top of a set of steps, facing black glass doors with my new bride, Connie.

We enter the building and I feel my stomach churn as Connie steps inside a second set of doors, leaving me just inside the first.

"Daddy?" I hear a soft voice call out.

Turning toward the voice I can feel her beside me before I even see her.

"Are you ready, daddy?"

Tears fill my eyes as Rene steps up alongside me. I feel my lower lip tremble and a great lump grows in my throat as my fatherly gaze takes in her angelic beauty, through tear-filled eyes.

"You are a vision of your dear mother," I whisper as the emotion of the moment gets the better of me. "She would have given anything to be here with you today."

In the fall following her high school graduation, Rene had started college at an in-state university and began working on a degree in elementary education. She was specifically gearing toward the kindergarten through third grade age, preferring the younger set because of their innocence and willingness to learn.

It was sad not having her around the house as often anymore, as she was growing up, but I was comforted in knowing she was only two and a half hours from home.

Often Connie and I would make the drive down and take Rene, Kimberly and one of their other best friends out to dinner. They were always full of laughter and so happy when we would come since according to them it was the best they ate all month. I knew that wasn't exactly true since Connie was always sending care packages to them.

Later, during her third year, about a week before Christmas break, Rene called me up and asked if it would be okay to bring a friend home with her for the holidays. I didn't feel like it would be a problem since it was most likely one of her female friends who couldn't fly home for the holidays. Connie and I enjoyed her friends anyway and loved to have them around, so of course, we said yes.

However, Connie and I were surprised when Rene showed up at our door with someone we had never met or even heard of before.

"Daddy, this is Jamie. He's a really good friend of both Kimberly and I."

The smile on her face was beaming, yet there was a slight hint of fear in her eyes.

"It's an honor to finally meet you, sir." He announced, grasping my outstretched hand, and his grip was quite firm. "Rene has told me so much about you... all of it good of course," he smiled handsomely.

I could see why both girls liked the boy and were good friends with him. But I was certain the look of fear in Rene's eyes spoke volumes that she didn't yet vocalize.

Later on, that evening when I had a chance to be alone with her, I asked her about it. "So, this Jamie fella . . . does he know about . . . you know. . . your past?"

It pained me to ask, but I feared for her safety and didn't want her to be hurt.

Rene replied softly, "Yes Dad, he knows."

She walked over to me, concern in her eyes. "He's so good to me, Dad . . . I really like him."

My mind was in turmoil. While I knew what she had been and was now; this Jamie was a man and would be interested in what young men wanted. I could protect Rene here, but away from here if she was wrong in her assessment of this man . . . I sighed heavily.

"Please, daddy." Tears were forming in her eyes as she knelt beside the chair I was sitting in.

Placing her hand upon my arm she looked up at me. "I really, really like him . . . and I think he likes me the same way, too."

I gently caressed her soft cheek, wiping away a tear. "Okay, Rene, I'll be cordial to him. But I expect him to extend that same favor to you. I know he's nice to you now, but I won't put up with a man who acts out with aggression to you or to any other woman. Let him give me any reason to doubt his intentions and I won't hesitate to let him know what I think about it."

She sighed with relief, "Thank you, daddy," then leaned into me and hugged me tightly. Finally, she kissed my cheek lightly. "I love you!"

I drew her into me and returned her kiss. "I love you too, punkin."

Later that evening while I was looking through the local newspaper I noticed Jim near the doorway between the kitchen and living room. Behind him, Rene, and Connie were working on supper.

He slowly entered the room, glancing apprehensively over his shoulder toward Rene. I didn't notice at the time, but she had stepped away from the others to encourage him... and watch for my reaction.

I glanced up from my paper.

"Uh... sir, do you have a moment that we could talk?"

I lowered the paper as he spoke and removed my reading glasses. Setting my glasses aside, I folded the paper and placed it on the table. "Sure, son, what can I help you with?"

He sat down on the edge of the couch and nervously looked at his hands. "I wanted to ask . . ."

I first scowled at him and then realized that it took a lot of courage for him to enter a lion's den, so I softened my expression. "Go on Jamie, I'm listening."

"Well sir, I really like Allie a lot."

Noticing that he was using a shortened form of her middle name, I began to wonder if any other of her friends used her middle name as well, or if it was something she only allowed him to do.

Suddenly, I realized that I was allowing my mind to wonder and quickly refocused my attention on what the young man was trying to say.

"...talked about it. I, I know what or who she used to be, but I love the person, the girl she is now." He sighed, almost as though he was breathing for the first time since entering the room.

"Yes, Rene is a beautiful girl, a lovely young lady, I'll give you that, but most importantly though, she's my daughter."

"And I respect that, sir," he added, interrupting me. "I would never do anything to hurt Allie."

He fidgeted in his seat, yet his look never wavered. I honestly felt I could believe him. I rubbed my cheek, the scraping of my whiskers sounded extremely loud to my own ears.

Looking up, I finally replied. "So, what are you asking me, son? What is it that you want from me?"

He sat up straighter and a slight smile pushed up from the corners of his lips. "Sir, I would like your permission to date Allie."