Losing Rene?

Ch 6

I continue to stand outside the second set of doors, next to Rene. This will be the last day, actually the last few moments that I will have her as my child.

As two men step up, ready to open the doors for us, I chance one last glance toward her. She couldn't have reminded me more of her mom than she did right now, truly beautiful in her own right.

So many nights over the past years since she had transitioned to living as a girl, I had laid in bed unable to sleep, worried for Rene.

Worried that at any time someone would discover her secret. Worried about what would happen to her once they did. Fearful that she might be shunned, discriminated against, ostracized, or attacked because she had a boy's body, male plumbing. Scared that she would be beaten once they knew, or possibly even worse, violently raped and killed.

But now, at this moment, the days of the terrifying dreams are gone, the past is exactly where it belongs . . . in the past. Today, her childhood is buried and she becomes a woman.

I turn and face forward, confident in the difficult decisions I had made raising Rene alone. I know I made the right decisions and now the cocoon of her childhood has given way, allowing a beautiful butterfly to spread its wings and fly.

The doors before us open and we continue to stand here for a moment more, awaiting our cue. Rene rests her hand in the crook of my elbow just as the pianist begins to play the Wedding March.

All those within the church rise and face us as we slowly, methodically approach the front. Ohhs and aahs can be heard across the small group of attendees as everyone gushes over Rene, slowly gliding down the aisle in a form-fitting, delicate, off the shoulder, pure white satin, mid-calf length, tube style dress with a four-foot lace and satin train behind her.

With six inch high, virgin white stiletto heels on her feet, her crystal-encrusted pedicure reflects brilliant sparkling shimmers of light as she proceeds forward.

At the altar, her husband-to-be stands waiting, his eyes puffy and red, his facial expression indicating he is in awe of the angelic beauty of his bride as she glides down the aisle, her face partially obscured by the pure white, mesh veil, symbolic of a virgin bride.

Yes, as you might have guessed, the groom is Jamie.