The Bully I Fell In Love With (boyxboy)

All We Can Do Is Hope And Pray

Ross’ POV

It had been two week since Jessica was hit by a drink driver and although she had survived she was in a coma in hospital and unlikely to survive. The hole in my heart was like a gaping wound that refused to heal but it was nothing compared to how Nathan was. Every day he spent beside Jess never leaving her side hoping she will wake. I worried for him as he wasn’t eating or sleeping properly, he had become thinner and pale and I knew a part of him died the day Jess had been hit.

Jess’ parents too spent as much time at the hospital but were Nathan truly believed Jess would recover her parents knew the decision to turn the machines off keeping her alive had to be made. Although Nathan responded to my presence, every time we kissed it was like his heart wasn’t in it and that was even harder to deal with than losing Jess. For me it felt like I was losing two people.

After spending the morning with my parents I made my way to the hospital where I knew Nathan would be. I couldn’t spend as much time as he did at the hospital, the smell of the room and the wilted body of Jess only bought the memory of that day to my mind and I was tired of fighting the nightmares of remembering. But what was making it worse was Nathan, his refusal to leave the hospital no matter who tried to bring him away only made him more frustrated and angry. I knew it was only going to be a matter of days before the decision was made to turn the machines off but as yet no one had talking to Nathan about it and somehow I felt it was going to have to be me. When that time came I knew Nathan would never forgive and that there was the possibility that he would hate me for it. These thoughts too tore at my heart.

As much as I hated to think it I wished Jess had died that day. Instead of this comatose body that was being kept alive unnaturally. Arriving at the hospital I went up to the room and seeing Nathan asleep on his arms sitting next to the bed I took at seat in the corner of the room and left him be. It was only twenty minutes before a nurse came into the room waking Nathan and I found myself getting anger that she could be so careless. Nathan looked awful and he really did need all the sleep he could get.

He had not realised I was there yet and picking up the book next to him he started reading one of Jess’ favourite book to her but he could barely focus on the words and I saw his eyes well up. Getting up I pulled my chair over next to him and taking the book from his hands he looked at me and I opened the page to were he was and started reading for him. I could see Nathan watching and I knew he was crying but I kept reading and Nathan took Jess’ hand and rubbed it between his.

The action tore at my heart and not for the first time I wished everything was back to how it was before this happened. Jess and Nathan should be planning our wedding and we should be happy and having fun. Not this state of remorse.

After reading an entire chapter I put the book down and getting up I said to Nathan, “I’m getting a drink of water, can I get you one too.”

He didn’t look up at me at all and another part of my heart shattered.

“No thank you.” He quietly replied.

“You should have something Nathan, you need to kept up your strength.”

“I said I’m not thirsty.”

“Please Nathan let me get you something. You’re not looking after yourself.”

“I said NO.” He growled at me and then I snapped.

I didn’t mean to lose my temper but I had enough of everything and I was damned if I wasn’t going to fight to kept Nathan alive.

“Enough of this Nathan, they’re going to turn the machine off any day now. Do you get it, she’s dead, she’s not coming back.”

“DON’T SAY THAT.” Nathan screamed at me throwing him self at me hitting me with his fists.