Late Night Thoughts | Jacksepticeye

3°

It's been about fifteen minutes, and Copper still wasn't back. As his worry was still present, Jack took it upon himself to go back inside.

"I've been sitting out there long enough.." Jack mumbled to himself as he closed his front door. He sluggishly walked to his kitchen and opened the fridge, "What to eat, what to eat.." He thought. "You know what? I'm not hungry," Jack concluded, closing the fridge and walking towards the couch. "Another day wouldn't hurt." He sighed out, as his body fell onto the couch.

He sat there for a while, not saying a single word. He just sat in the silence with his eyes wide open, pondering the object of life and why his had to be the way it is. Tears fell from his eyes onto the soft, florescent pillows with neat designs layed across them. "Even my pillows have more life than I do," Jack mentally chuckled.

Jack's house was quite dull for the most part. The outside walls were a light gray, and the inside were mixes of dark green and dark gray. No vivid color scheme or any type of original design anywhere. He thought he could try to 'liven' up the place by adding a few cool structured pillows to make it seem like he wasn't a maniac. It didn't help when some of the neighbors would knock on his door and find that even the inside of his house looked depressing.

Jack's stomach growled abruptly and a sharp pain formed in his chest. He put his hand on his stomach and began to rub it gently, immediately feeling his ribs and hips pop out like usual. He stood up and walked to the full-body mirror in his room. He lifted his shirt and hoodie above his head and tossed them onto the bed. He eyed his body carefully, examining every little flaw he had. He looked like a skeleton. His entire body was weak, and his bones were frail and britle. He had almost no motivation to do anything.. not even breathe. His cheeks were hollow, his arms were small, his legs were shaky, his stomach made it appear as if he was sucking in, when really he wasn't. He was too skinny.. yet every time he looked in the mirror, he thought he was fat.

He sighed and put his shirt back on, too lazy to get a new one. "My family doesn't even want me. I'm the child disappointment. Kill me." Jack began to overthink about his family and his current life situation again. He spent restless nights like this, just contemplating his suicide and different methods on how to do so, overthinking, etc. Jack was messed up. He's harrowing and unhinged. Yet, through his cold, dark soul and body, deep down, he had a heart; and he knew how to use it. That's why in the past, he always gave his all to the people he loved. He doesn't do that anymore... they used him. They used his good, kind-hearted nature for their bad. Jack didn't like that. It killed him, tore him apart, ripped him to shreds. And that's why he's so broken now. That's why he has anorexia, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, paranoia, you name it...

Jack is such a frail person without even knowing it. He's such a kind-hearted, wise, old soul who deserves so much more than what he's getting. So much more happiness. He hasn't had a true glimpse of happiness yet. And he truly believes that he will find his happiness...

Through Copper.