Roses and Daggers

1|Do I Deserve It?

|Louis|

BEEP.

My alarm woke me up. Ugh. I hate Mondays so much. I hate school so much. I hate the teachers. I hate the students. They are all sons and daughters of bitches.

Senior year. At least it's my last year before college. The last year I have to see any of them.

Why me? Can't they go bully someone else? I know I'm not strong or big but please just stop.

I already get beaten up by many people, please that's enough violence for one person to handle. I don't need the whole world to hate me. Do I?

Maybe I deserve it.

Maybe I wasn't meant to be in this cruel world.

Maybe I was an accident.

I already get beaten up by my drunk father.

I get beaten up by the bullies of my school.

I'm already everyone's punching bag.

My scars show my story, but everyone chooses to ignore them.

I don't know what it feels like to be loved.

It might be the greatest feeling ever.

But how would I know?

Everybody hates me. I've done nothing bad to them. Maybe everything would be better if I disappeared.

Maybe all the pain would go away.

My sister told me that thinking of suicide is wrong and that 'life is the best thing ever' but how would I know? She doesn't get me. If she where in my shoes, she would have different thoughts. She doesn't know how it feels like to be beaten up in every hallway I go. She doesn't know what it feels like to be my own father's punching bag. She doesn't know what it feels to not be loved or constantly being told that you're a mistake. No, she doesn't know shit. Of course she's daddy's little girl and she is the most popular girl at school. How would she know? She's probably ashamed of having me as a brother. Who wouldn't?

Do you know how it feels?

***
Hey guys!

I hope you enjoyed.

Comment your thoughts and vote.

All the love,

-Me xx