lux in tenebris » exo ot12 a.f. [ au ]

UPDATES RANT

okay i know i just posted another author's note, but this time i'm really angry so i'm going to rant. i get it, i haven't updated in a long time and i really do apologize for that. but let me excuse myself from this ignorant anonymous' person and what they said that made me so mad i had to delete the conversation and block them.

do you not understand the process i go through? i first write out a member's part, for example mei xiu and suho, their part alone is 1410 words exactly. i had to make sure chanyeol and kimi had the same amount of words wanting everybody to have equal parts. chanyeol and kimi's part was 1623 words exactly, not counting the punctuation marks. and for mary and jongdae their part had exactly 1362. do you know how hard it is for me to try to at least make them the same length? not to mention some pairs i have more trouble writing for.

i am a fourteen year old girl who is going to be in her sophomore year of high school. when i first started this apply fic it was almost summer, but i was going to asia. i had to pack and prewrite updates for my main account because reminder: THIS IS NOT MY MAIN ACCOUNT. i was very clear in the rules that updates are difficult and spontaneous. just because the first three chapters came out fast doesn't mean all of them will. so let me fucking breathe.

i'm not giving up on this apply fic, i have everything planned out from the angst, the plot, and the ending. i have big ideas for this that are realistic and ideal and works perfectly. i don't know how many times i have told memehyuk about what i have and how much i gush over all the pairs. so don't you dare tell me that i don't care.

i have all of the profile links in a special folder, i have pictures of the face claims in my computer, i have written scenes out for all of them.

just because i don't update fast like other accounts does it mean that i'm a terrible author. surprise surprise my chapters are LONG i write LONG updates which many apply fics don't have. I'M MAKING THIS BOOK MAYBE TO 50 CHAPTERS AS SURPRISING AS IT IS.

i'm writing this for everybody who fucking applied for this fanfic because i wanted them to get the feeling like they're in this book. if you are just reading this and not in it than that's great. BUT THIS IS FOR THEM SPECIFICALLY. 

i don't need to please anyone else. so complaining how long i update won't make me update faster, it stresses me out. i cannot stress how many times i had to rant to hailee about how updating this is hard. you try writing 1000 words for ONE couple and then having to do the same for the others. it's difficult because i'm not gonna write a half ass chapter of 300 for one couple and the other, i don't like my writing to be short. i want everyone to be more fulfilled.

SO DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME TO UPDATE BECAUSE I WILL WHEN I CAN.