Chapter Five - What the Heart Wants

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The video is The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez (my queen <3)

Jax

Rin was knocked out on the bed beside me. For some reason she didn't find it weird at all to share the same bed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear, with a lesbian. I appreciated her for not freaking out and being weird about it, but the problem was I could not sleep. At all.

Every time I would come close to slipping under the fog of sleep her soft leg would brush against mine, or she'd drape an arm over me, hot breath on my neck. How she could sleep that quietly and peacefully was a mystery.

It surprised me how she didn't seem to notice how red my face got around her or how much I'd fidget; and I fidgeted a lot. Every time I'd stammer while trying to talk to her she'd laugh and mimic me, and we'd end up in a fit of girly giggles.

I can't remember how long I've had a crush on Rin, just that it feels like a very long time. However, I could never confess to her because she never showed interest in anyone interested in her, let alone anyone she dated. I didn't want that to happen to me. I liked my heart together, not broken in pieces, thank you very much.

So I stayed silent, her loyal best friend.

I dated people too, but my relationships weren't steady. Rin ruined that for me. Everyone I dated had one thing in common, and it was that they were blonde. Remind you of someone?

By now, Rin probably thought of me as the player, the chic that broke everyone's heart, etc. I really didn't do it to be mean, I only wanted to get over my ridiculous feelings for her. I mean, what type of friend has a crush on their best friend?

Most of the time, I can keep the way she affects me secret, but it's times like these when it doesn't quite work. Do you know how hard it is to pretend you're not interested when she looks sexy as hell, water sliding down her as she wears nothing but a towel after she got out the shower? Or when you both are sleeping in the same bed where bare skin brushes accidentally?

I admit, we did go skinny dipping. But, contrary to popular belief, I refused. She blackmailed me, and forced me to go with her. And if I said I didn't feel awkward as hell, I'd be lying.

No one affects me like Rin does. She has this habit of clinging to the closest thing in bed; normally it's a pillow, tonight it's me. Now, she's curled into my side, bare legs wrapped around my bare ones, and the flood of emotions swamped my body and my heart.

Did I want to date her? Yes.
Did I want to eat her out? Yes.
Did I want to leave this bed? Yes. Yes. No. Yes.

I must say, being her best friend has its perks. Only problem is, you're surrounded by guilt the whole time. I can only take lying to her for so long.

Screw my heart.

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A/N: Normally I do things from Rin's point of view, but this time I wanted to give you a glimpse into Jax's head and her inner struggle of "liking" (or is it love??) her best friend.
I picked this song because I think it accurately describes Jax and her situation, and I also am in love with Selena Gomez (guilty as charged <3) and I like this song.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, keep reading for more!!

Xoxoxo

Ps. None of my books are edited rip so don't hate.

Pps. You should check out my destiel fanfic novel (if you're into supernatural). It's a wip (work in progress). <3 thank chuu

Ppps. Also going to update this on Saturdays not Sundays if I can help it.

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