Dear Diary || Calum Hood

7

"Hey Marnie," I heard Ashton's voice behind me.

"Oh, uh, hi Ashton," I mumbled.

"How you doing?" He asked.

"I'm good thanks," I said, giving him a smile. I looked up at him and I saw him sigh and shake his head.

"That's good," he mumbled and I stayed quiet.

The day passed slowly but college finally ended. I went home and did some homework. I saw Calum with Luke, Michael and Ashton in Ashton's room opposite me but I chose to ignore them. All they ever did was ask if I'm okay and I'm getting tired of it.

I heard a car door shut from outside and I sat up. Shit he was home. My father. I looked over at Ashton's window and saw Calum staring at my frightened face. I gave him a quick smile before putting on my shoes and my jacket. I opened my window as wide as I could and all the boys looked over at me. I chose to ignore them as I heard my father coming up the stairs. I climbed out of my window and held onto it with my hands. I was going to have to jump. Shit. It was higher than I thought. I ignored the fact that the boys were all staring at me and let go of the window. I landed on the floor and fell back.

"Ow," I said under my breath. I got up and ran. I ran down my road and as far away from my house as possible, hoping my father didn't catch me.

There was a cafe that I found downtown which I decided would be the best place to stay for a few hours. I bought a drink and a little to eat. After an hour or two, I bought a coffee and then left the cafe and walked to a park nearby. It was getting pretty late but I didn't want to go home just yet.

"Marnie!" I heard Calum's voice shout. I sighed and turned around. I really didn't want to talk to him right now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to find you. Why did you leave like that?" He questioned.

"Just wanted some fresh air," I mumbled.

"Your father came in just after you left. He seemed pretty annoyed. Are you okay?" He said.

"Yes! I'm fine," I spat. "Stop asking me that!"

"Sorry, I was just checking. You just seem pretty sad and like something is on your mind," he replied.

"So what if there is? It's nothing to do with you," I said.

He sighed, "why don't I take you home? I know you're tired."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"You were up for most of the night," he mumbled.

"What? How do you know that?" I questioned, nervously.

"Um, doesn't matter," he mumbled.

"How the fuck do you know that I didn't sleep?" I asked again, louder.

"Ashton and I saw you were awake-"

"You fucking watched me?" I shouted.

"No, it wasn't like that. We heard you screami-"

"You watched me at night! That's so not okay!" I said, stepping away from him.

"Marnie," Calum mumbled.

"No, Calum. Just go away," I said.

"Please Marnie, we wanted to help-"

"Just go away Calum!" I shouted. He gave me a nod and walked out of the park.

I sat on a bench and sighed. I can't believe he's fucking done that!

---

I arrived back home, fuming. I avoided my mother and father and stormed straight upstairs, slamming my door behind me.

"Ugh!" I shouted, in frustration, knocking the lamp off my bedside table and it smashed on the floor.

I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall and put my head in my knees.

"I fucking hate you," I shouted, feeling the tears fall down my face. He and Ashton watched me whilst I was sleeping and they must have seen me going insane whilst having a nightmare. They were watching me at my worst. I want to punch them right now. I got up and went across to my bathroom and grabbed my razor. I placed it to my skin when Ashton shouted my name.

"Marnie..." I heard him mumble. I stayed silent and hoped he would leave me alone.

"Marnie!" He said again, louder this time. I groaned and out my razor back and went over to my window.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, opening the window.

"I just want to talk..." He mumbled.

"No! I don't want to talk to you or Calum again!" I said, trying not to cry.

"We're sorry. We just wanted-"

"You wanted to help, I know. How about next time you mind your own business and leave me alone," I interrupted.

He sighed and I looked down.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Stop fucking asking me that!" I shouted. Why was I breaking down? "I'm fine! Can't you see I'm fine, so stop asking. If I wasn't fine, why does it matter to you? Just leave me alone!"

I wiped the tears that were falling down my face and I felt my knees go weak.

"I'm coming over," Ashton said, getting up.

"No Asht-" but he was already gone. "Fuck!"

I sat down on the floor. A few moments later, my door opened and Ashton arrived in my room.

"I snuck past your parents," he said, sitting in front of me. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk. Don't you see that? That's why I'm quiet. I just don't want to talk," I replied.

"Come on Marnie. You and I both know it's more than that. Please don't cry," he sighed, wiping a tear from my face.

"Sorry..."

"Calum and I just want to help. We care about you and we want you to be okay," Ashton explained. I nodded my head. "That's why we stayed awake. I know you don't sleep often but I normally ignore it so Calum came over so we could see if we could work anything out."

"I'm okay," I mumbled, feeling a tear fall down my face.

"That tells me you're not. I want you to be okay but I'm going to leave you now as I know you don't want to talk but remember I'm just over there so if you do want to talk, just shout my name," Ashton said, giving me a smile.

I nodded and he left my room, via the window. I sighed and leaned my head back. My door opened again and my father walked in.

"Not now," I mumbled, looking up at him.

"Who were you talking to? Who's in here?" He asked.

"No one. No one's in here," I replied.

"Yeah, whatever," he laughed.

"Father, can we do this later?" I sighed.

"No, I'm working later," he smirked, walking over to me.

"Please, n-"

I felt his grip on my head and he pulled on my hair. He kicked my back and slapped my cheek.

"Mother is downstairs. Please, not now," I cried.

"I'll be back later," he grinned, pushing me to the floor and leaving my room. I got up and walked over to my bed. I looked over at my window and saw it was still open and Ashton was watching me from my room, in shock.

I need get out of here as soon as possible...