May Fever

May 11th 2014

LOVE:

in which a character quotes their role model

~

"Ok let's practice this skit," Jory said as we sat in his room on the hot Sunday morning. We decided that it would be good to get at least one more practice in before we had to perform on Monday.

I fixed my shorts and nodded, clearing my throat before I began. Jory looked at me and shook his head.

"That was horrible," Jory said with a laugh

"We should try!" He encouraged. I nodded and tried again, pushing my foolishness to the side.

"Better," Jory said with a nod. "But you're still joking." I stared at him blankly.

"Pochahontas is a Native woman saving a white man. Do those things mix? Not really..." He stated.

"Especially since they were trying to kill all of the Natives..." I added.

"Exactly," Jory said with a snap. I opened my mouth to speak, but I looked up at him, both of us realizing what we just said.

~

"Do you mind me asking something?" I asked him. We went to get ice cream with Ivy and her friend Maya.

Jory nodded as he licked his Oreo ice cream happily. We sat at a bench by the playground as Maya and Ivy ran to sit on the swings as they ate their ice cream.

"How did it happen?" I asked, referring to his brother's passing. Jory looked at me before taking another lick. I didn't realize that I wasn't licking my Kit Kat ice cream until I felt it dripping from my hand. I started licking quickly as I waited for him to reply. Jory laughed, but a frown swept across his face. He stuffed the small piece of the ice cream cone and rubbed his hands together. He watched Ivy as she ran around the playground, laughing happily. His eyes twinkled sadly.

"It happened so suddenly," Jory told me. "You know, my brother was such a happy person. He got along with everyone and anyone. He was so chill and everyone wanted to be around him.

"Kaden and I were your typical little brother, older brother duo. We always wrestled and fought, but that was how we showed our love towards each other. He always gave me girl advice, and he always made sure that he was the father figure I never had.

"I remember the night he went to James' house for the big party they had. He promised my mom that he'd come back safe and sound, not buzzed and sick, and my mom believed him. But the hours kept passing and I starting to worry. Ivy didn't understand, but my mom sure as hell did," Jory said with a laugh before continuing.

"There was banging on the door. I was scared. My brother wasn't home, it was just me, my mom, and Ivy.

"I remember it so well. I remember it so clearly and it scares me. My mom put Ivy beside me in my bed and ran down the stairs, her hair tangled all over the place. I couldn't sit there and wait so I went to the staircase to see what was happening. A police officer stood at the door, and he was scary. He had such a big body and such a deep voice and it was as if he was ready to kill us. Back then I wasn't who I am today. I was weak, I was timid. I didn't know what I was doing! But I still don't know what I'm doing.

"I heard her ask if this was Kaden Kloss' house, and my mom said she yes. He asked if he could age could go outside with him and I ran down the stairs and listened in on the conversation. The officer and another one stood in front of her, and I remember hearing the sympathy in the officer's voice. 'Your son was involved in a car crash hours ago,' and is in the ER right now, in critical care.

"I didn't know true fear until that moment. I remember hearing how hard my mom cried as the yelled at them, asking them who did it, and we still don't know... we still don't know," he rubbed his face into his hands. I placed a hand on his back and felt his back stretch then shrink as he sighed, like an accordion.

"My mom drove us to the hospital as fast as she could without getting in trouble. Once we got there, we ran to his room. It was over. If you saw him, you'd see that there was no point in the nurses wrapping him in bandaids and gauze. There was no point in the paramedics trying to shock his heart, there was no point in the doctors telling my mom that he'd get blood. He was dead.

"I remember him telling me to never give up. He always said that even when it's hard, don't give up. But I gave up. In that moment, I knew it was over. He was dead,"

"We spent three hours in the waiting by his door, Ivy was sleeping on my lap, my mom was nervously pacing back and forth, biting her nails, and I was staring blankly at the room, watching his body fade away. I remember the door creaking open as the doctor walked out, fatigue in his eyes as he called my mom," Jory explained, a strong painful expression on his face.

"He said 'Mrs. Kloss, I'm sorry. Your son has passed away...

"I remember how hard she cried that night, and I remember how I let my tears fall onto Ivy, who was oblivious to the noise and pain. My mom kept insisting that there was another way, but the doctor shook his head. He was dead. I wasn't sad then, I was mad. Whoever killed him took away my brother, and he wasn't able to say good bye.

"He couldn't tell me what to do, he didn't say goodbye, he was gone. He never told me to 'tell mom you love her each and every night before you go to bed' or 'tell Ivy that you love her too.'

"T-the last thing K-Kaden ever said to me was that he'd be home soon," he said sadly. I felt my heart drop as my eyes welled up with tears.

"But he never came home," Jory said. I felt tears fall down my face as I wept sadly. It broke my heart knowing that Darius caused them this much pain because he wanted to be cool.

I embraced Jory, my head pressed against his shoulder, and my arms around his waist as he continued.

"I'm so sorry," I said quietly. Jory laughed sadly but stopped abruptly. My arms dropped as I watched his hands move up to cover his face as he wept. I found myself struggling to find words to say as I hugged Jory tightly.

"Why me," he cried. "My dad was already taken, why him?" I squeezed him in my arms as I felt tears drop from my eyes as well as he released his hands from his face and wrapped his arms around me. I felt my already broken heart being turned to dust as he cried loudly into my shoulder. I cried as well and suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and looked up at Ivy, who was worriedly staring at the two of us. Maya was still on the swing.

"A-are y-ou two ok?" She stammered, her eyes welling with tears as she waited for a postive answer. I nodded.

"We just needed a good cry," I told her. She hugged me, then Jory for a long time before running away. She looked back at us before turning back. I sat up straight and looked at Jory, who removed his hands from his tear streaked face. I wiped his tears away with my hand and hugged him tightly.

"'You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.' Maya Angelou." I whispered. Jory laughed.

"Of course you'd quote Maya Angelou," he joked. I laughed quietly.

"Jory," I whispered. "You'll be fine."

Jory sighed and lifted his head up, rubbing his red face, before hugging me tightly. I remembered his sweet cologne and smiled.

This was Jory Kloss. This was him. Although he looked different, acted different, and was different, this was him. It doesn't matter that he may not look the same, but he was better.

"I'll be fine." He agreed.