May Fever

May 12th 2014

MONDAY:

in which a character has to perform a skit in front of the whole class, with a partner

~

After yesterday's reconnaissance, Jory and I decided that we should practice separately. We both needed some time before our performance to recollect.

Especially me.

It was like everything was thrown at me at one time for some reason. Miles came back, Anastasia and Wayne broke up, Wayne telling me his true feelings, Darius kissing me, my dad coming back, Jory's brother passing away, and finally reconnecting with him after such a long time.

I was overwhelmed. I didn't want to think about school, but I had to. I needed to do this for myself. I want change, and that means that I can't let these situations hold me back.

I climbed out of bed and walked to my washroom, reciting my words and I got ready for school. I heard Joyce's car and quickly grabbed my bag and ran out of my room, Ophelia running behind me. I looked at her and noticed a slight croak in her meow, but dismissed it. I picked her up and kissed her head before saying grabbing my lunch and saying bye to everyone.

I ran outside to the sunshine that Joyce's car was waiting in and opened the door.

"So how was your weekend?" I asked her. Joyce looked at me and faked a smile. I noticed her messy hair and makeup-less face. I could see her puffy red eyes and sagging cheeks.

"It was great," she lied as she revved up the engine and began driving through the neighbourhood. Joyce shook her head.

"It was horrible," she admitted. I turned my head to face her, her eyes welling up with tears.

"He isn't coming back for another three months..." She cried. I watched idle tears stream down her face as she clenched onto the steering well, the veins in her hands bulging as they paled to white. Her lip quivered as she drove off of the road and to the sidewalk.

Joyce didn't even bother to turn her car off. I watched Joyce breakdown right in front of me. She curled into a ball and wept loudly. I quickly shuffled and tried my best to hug her although the cup holders were in the way. I listened to her loud weeps and held her in my arms, feeling my grief and hers form one large monster that was staring at us on such a beautiful day.

On such a beautiful day where the sun was shining and the birds were all singing together in tune. On such a beautiful day where the white butterflies danced in unison, landing on one leaf, then moving to another, then another. On such a beautiful day where the leaves on the palm trees flowed with the breeze. On such a beautiful day where the sun was gleaming and showing its pure golden yellow.

It was such a beautiful day but it didn't feel like that.

I felt her breathing hitch as she continued to cry. I held her in my arms and listened to her loud cry. I listened to her weeps through her cries. I listened to her wish for that simple life that she once had.

At about 10, Joyce lost her mom to breat cancer. She always insisted that she was fine, but I knew that she wasn't. She didn't miss school, she always made an effort to show up. Everyone thought that she would miss school to grieve, but she insisted that she was fine.

She wasn't fine.

I remember the way she cried when she found out her mom passed away. I remember the way she cried when she went to her mom's funeral. I remember the way she cried when she realized that she was alone.

I remember the depression she fell into two years later. She couldn't hold it in. She insisted that she was happy, but I knew that she wasn't. She always made an effort to look good and smile, but she wasn't fine, I knew it.