Afraid

14

DAY 03

We're were in Arizona which I was excited " I can't believe we're almost there " May said  " me too " I said yawning I  was to tired for this " May go tell Dallas that were stopping at a motel to sleep I'm to tired"
" ok be back " she came back
" he said okay "
I saw a sign that said motel in 20 minutes and stores and other stuff 
We arrived at the motel checked in we had to rooms one for the boys and one for the girls " hey Casey before you fall asleep can we go to Walmart "
I was tired but I wanted to just go with May " ya of course plus I wanna get stuff " about 15 minutes we found a Walmart  I grabbed a hair color my old one which I don't like blonde hair " oh " May said " sorry I don't like my hair blonde " after that we went back in the motel it was like 3in the morning we arrived May did my hair again I jumped in the shower got out I looked at myself I looked more alive I brushed my teeth and hair I went to bed I felt tired I really couldn't sleep  I kept tossing and turning " hey Casey "
May whispered  there was two beds Stacy and me are on one bed and may on her on bed with her tank tucked in with her " ya may " I whispered back
" im scared "
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion " why may "
" cause I always said I don't want to die old and alone that I wanted to die at 60 and now that I got my wish I don't  think I want it anymore "  I felt bad "  May  I ummmm just want to let you know that your umm a good person  and that at least one of your wishes is coming true " I said I really didn't know what to say  
She giggled a little " ya " I'm still kinda surprised she still had hair on her head    I yawned " im going to sleep night May "  I turned around and  still couldn't sleep I got up grabbed a water bottle drank some stretched and got sleepy I  slowly landed on the bed I fell asleep quickly after that " when I woke up I heard a familiar voice I got up and I saw Zoe and all of a sudden she disappeared I was shaking badly at this I quickly got up and walked to Matt and Jason's room I knocked but of course they were asleep  I went back and decided to change it was only 10:30 we had a lot of time left so I decide to talk to May 

" May you up "
She was breathing slowly I decided to try again.
"May "  
She turned over to her right so the back of her head was facing me  
" May we're going to Starbucks want to come "
She suddenly  got up not knowing anything
She then said not her tired sleepy voice
" huh  " she rubbed her eyes in confusion she looked at me in a confused look and relaxed all of a sudden.
Did I have that type of effect on her ?
" can we talk May I just feel stressed "
I said to her biting my lower lip
It was a sudden reaction she looked at her tank and saw that it was low  .
She then looked at me " I need to get a new tank and take my pills, to get into the shower grab clean clothes and to make myself  look presentable".
She said
I was hurt that she by pass it but I guess that's what happens when your sick ?
"Oh ok um let me grab a tank from the RV " she nodded her head and laid back down while grabbing her phone
I looked around and frowned 
Where's the damn keys
I went to my pants that I wore yesterday. I felt the coldness form the keys and grabbed them I walked out and to the parking lot leading to the RV  .
I opened the door and went to the back to where the tanks where  I grabbed the one with the fullest  i suddenly got a sad feeling in my stomach  I never thought I would be getting a tank for my best friends so she can breath I shake the feeling off I quickly grabbed the tank which was heavy I struggled to grabbed it. Suddenly the door swung open I looked to the door as it surprised me it was Jason . He smiled and walked towards me  I really  am frightened by  him he slowly walked towards me "  need help " he said he was wearing a white tank top and basketball shorts
" nah I got it thanks "
I said to him getting nervous
why I'm I getting nervous around him 
He nodded and turned away I quickly pulled out the heavy tank and headed towards the room
Jason started walking with me 
" hey let's put that all behind us "
Really he wants me to put that behind me when he threatened me with a knife  ?!?
" no I can't do that Jason you hurt me " 
He looked shocked and angry he suddenly walked past me
Was he expecting me to just forgive him he got me fucked up if he thinks that .
 

~~~

  I was sweating and tired of just sitting in the RV .
When we left the motel we ate and looked around the plaza now it was only 4  hours till we reach LA I was excited and apparently so is May .  She kept jumping around and humming " you need to chill" I said laughing as she kept singing her favorite song.
"Why Im happy and excited for this aren't you " she said laughing to herself