Her.

Chapter 12

Beyoncé's POV

"Sorry?" Shawn asked in a confused tone.

I let out a deep breath before pushing him gently into the house. I used my foot to close the door behind me.

"What happened with your mom, Bey?"

That simple question made me remember that I needed to let my mother have it. She had blindsided me one too many times, and I was honestly over it. Even though it worked out in the end, she could've let me know beforehand. It would have been my decision whether or not I wanted to talk to Idris or not.

"Nothing. I just...I'm sorry. When I got divorced, I vowed to myself. I vowed to my heart that I wouldn't allow heart me again. Three times. Three times I walked away from three relationships with heartache, tears, and insecurities. Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered what was wrong with you?" I asked him. I didn't really desire a response.

Shawn was sitting on the edge of the couch. He shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes."

"Imagine coming home on Valentine's Day. The day you're supposed to spend with the person you love or adore. You left your mother in a hospital to go be home with the person you loved. The man that you married. You open your door and walk into YOUR kitchen to find a woman sitting on your counter. She's not bothered by a damn thing. Hell, she doesn't even have a care in the world. You know why? Because she knew. She knew what was going to happen. You know the worst part? Your husband walks out that door with her. He doesn't put up a fight. He leaves you...he leaves you."

Shawn immediately grabbed me and pulled me into his body. I had never cried in front of Shawn before. I never liked for him to see my weaknesses. I didn't desire to feel weak.

"Bey, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, I promise I will not put you through that. Look at me," he said softly.

I refused to look up.

"Look at me," he demanded, causing me to finally look up to him.

He used his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

"Just talk to me, okay? That's all you gotta do, Bey. I don't know what's going on with you if you don't talk. Why are you apologizing?"

I sighed. "Because I left you with nothing. Your wife left you, and I can't..."

"Listen to me, I'll always love you, Bey. You can't help my feelings. That's my problem. I fell in love with you. You told me straight up in the beginning what you wanted, and I fell. I fell hard. I don't want to lose you, Bey, so I'll take you in anyway you're giving."

I stepped away from him for a moment and rubbed my face. "I just need time. I need time to sort my life out. I need time to think about things. Reevaluate."

He nodded his head. "That's good. I'll be here for support if you'll let me."

I looked at him for a moment. "We can support one another. You're getting a divorce. Before anything transpires between us, I want you to be a father to your daughter. She needs you more than anyone else does. She may only be so many months, but you'll regret the time lost."

"Trust me, I already do. I made a lot of mistakes, and the only one I can really correct is being there with my daughter."

"It's the important one. The most important one."

Shawn and I talked a little more about everything. We discussed our friendship and what happens now. We're going to continue to be friends before anything. Neither of us needed to be in relationships right now.

As soon as he left, I knew I had business to take care of. I prayed before I left the house, but I knew I was about to get mad disrespectful.

I unlocked my mother's door and immediately went in. I saw Champ coming toward me, but quickly moved out of the way, so he followed me instead.