The Boy Who Cared For My Bruises And Scars

part 9

"Yes officer?" I asked with my shaky voice. 

"May I come in?" he asked Dana and she motioned for him to enter. A million thoughts ran through my mind it got me out of breath. Nothing made sense. Had Rob called the police? No, he's done too many illegal things to call the police. Would Teddy? I'm not quite sure, but I doubt he could be thinking strait right now. 

"You're Sky Penny?" he asked me. I nodded my head. "I'm sorry to have to tell you, but we found..."

~

I sat on the edge of my bed with Dana's hand stroking my back, trying to sooth me. My whole body was tense. I couldn't feel my toes. Shock covered my whole body. Tears wouldn't come out for they had been wasted over my parents for years. But on the inside, a little part of me died.

Earlier in the evening, my mom was drunk and was angry with my father. So she started driving to come find me. There was no where else for her to go, my father gave her no mercy. I would know. So she kept driving to wherever she saw some kids running around. At about 8:26, she crashed into a semi-truck on the highway and instantly died. 

My parents had never been there for me. They had even gone far enought to beat me when I was a young child. But it was the drugs talking. It was the drugs hitting. It was the drugs that made them different people. I knew that, and I still loved them. After all, they are my parents. And now, the person that held me in her womb, is dead. She's gone. I will never get to actually know her. Never will I get to give her a hug and tell her I love her and forgive her for all she did long ago. That was all behind me, but I had never told her that. I had never told my dad that either.

Dana stood up slowly to answer the phone. I heard her murmering a word or two but couldn't make out who it was. I plopped on my bed and stared at the ceiling like I had so many times before. It always seems to help when everythings feels hopeless, but this time, it felt different. 

Dana walked in with big eyes. They weren't hopeful eyes, just big eyes. 

"What?"

"That was," she sighed. "your father. He wanted to talk to you, but I said right now wasn't the time." I studied her face. I studied the phone in her hand. Was this a joke? My father wanted to talk to me? He wanted to see his daughter that he had never cared about before?

"What did he want?"

"Well, first he said he wanted to talk. Then he said it was about the funeral. He wants you to be there sweetheart. He wants us to be there." The room filled with an awkward silence that could never be broken. Words hung in the air like decorations on a Christmas tree. I was just waiting for a little, annoying kid or a new puppy to knock one off and have it shatter all over the floor.

I looked to Dana, gulped, and nodded my head. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. I was glad she would be there for me right now. Maybe this is what my mom could have been like. Maybe she was comforting and loving like Dana. Who knows. 

~

I gave up trying to get ahold of Teddy. He wouldn't answer my texts or my calls. He was never online.. I was beginning to wonder if he had made it out of my house alive. 

The rest of the night was spent pacing in my room. My feet left marks in the carpet from pressing on the floor so many times. Then my phone rang. I stumbled over my own step and grabbed my phone off of my light stand. It said Rob on the caller ID. I gulped, and forced myself to answer it.

"Hello," my shaky voice was too suspicious.

"I heard what happened."

Silence.

"She deserved to die," my stomach dropped as he said this. I couldn't believe even the lowest of the low could even think to say that. "and don't worry about what happened today. I'm over it."

"No." I screamed into the mouthpiece.

"What?" Anger started to fill his voice again.

"No. It's not okay. You hurt my friend. You call me to tell me my own mother deserved to die. Why would you-"

"She hurt you. And that guy was over at your house in the morning eating pancakes and having a great old time. You have a boyfriend you stupid slut! Didn't that ever cross your mind?" I paused to think of how wrong his sentences were and how ironic they were. He beat me. More than once. Basically raped me when I was young. And never treated me like I was his girlfriend. And sadly, he did cross my mind when I was with Teddy. I was scared of him. Every time I even made a move around Teddy I cringed to think of what Rob would do to me. 

"You've hurt me enough. I don't care anymore. Whatever you do won't be any worse than what you've already done. Goodbye pain in the ass." Click.

~

I slept great the next few nights. Until the night before my mother's funeral. I had skipped school for a few days and never recieved any calls from Teddy. This was the only thing that bothered me the most. But I had to forget about it because there were more important things to worry about right now.

The morning of the funeral, Dana and I sat silently at the breakfast table. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked. "You don't have to, you know."

I nodded without making eye contact and kept focusing on my bowl of Froot-Loops. The rest of the morning was usual but quiet.

When we got to the funeral home, I could see some family members I haven't seen since Christmas many, many years ago. I was probably 4 when I last saw my grandma. She scanned the crowd and saw me immediately and ran towards me with open arms. 

"Skyyyy!" she squealed with a tear on her cheek. "We've all missed you so!" I couldn't help but squeeze her back and got a wiff of her perfume. It reminded me of her house, the closest thing I had to home when I lived with my parents. 

"How are you? You look so big! I love you so much!" she whispered in my ear. I tried to get out words but only sobs came out. This was not how I wanted my family to see me after so many years. Soon, aunts and uncles and cousins started lining up to give me a hug and re cap of what they've missed in my life. I told them I was in high school, just changed schools, and am trying to focus on college instead of sports right now. They all were amazed even though I didn't have much to tell them. The get together seemed happy for a moment, until a sudden chill ran down my back. I looked past the crowd and saw my father walking down the ailse of the ceremony room and towards us. His eyes were fixed right on me. I gulped and found Dana to grab her hand. She squeezed it tight as I waited to say a word I had never wanted to say to my dad again, "Hi."