The Boy Who Cared For My Bruises And Scars

part 14a

Through the impossible-to-breath sobs, I tried to explain myself to Dana on the phone. She was panting. I could hear things falling over in the background. Then a car started. Her tears seemed to crawl through the receiver and drip into my ear. Surprisingly, it stung more than the scars on my wrists. 

Teddy was sitting beneath me on a chair, stroking my back. I could feel his soft eyes on my face as I screamed into the phone.

"I'm coming right now. Don't go anywhere! Just stay on the phone.. What are you doing right now?" Dana breathed into the phone.

"Teddy is here. I'm with him. I'm okay, Dana. I really am. I just need to leave."

"I love you. You have 15 minutes to pack. Hurry up. You're getting right out of there." Click.

The room was silent next to the ticking clock. The ceiling fan was spinning as fast as my world was at the moment. Just thinking about it's circular motion made me sick to my stomach. My whole body felt the need to colapse at that moment. Then I looked at Teddy. I looked at a blank stare. Then looked to the ground for more answers.

"Do you think she'll be mad?" he muttered so quietly, I wasn't sure if he actually said it. 

"I," slowly, my eyes trailed from the ground to his eyes. "don't know. She will be worried. And emotional. But it's Dana, I don't think she will be angry right now." He nodded and continued to stroke my back.

"Help me pack?" I got up and reached out my hand to him. He grabbed it, pulled it close to him, and kissed my shooken up hand. My cheeks started to gain life again as I blushed. Only he could make me flustered at a time like this.

~

The door swung open. Teddy and I jumped, afraid of who could be barging into this God-forbidden house. Dana stammered into the living room and fell to her knees. I felt shame for causing her so much grief. My heart ached as if it fell on the floor between our embrace. Our cries were syncronized after a few years of sobbing. I kept whispering, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." And she shushed me and said, "It's okay. It's okay."

Teddy packed all of my stuff into Dana's car while we sat on the couch, dazed with blurry vision, due to our tears. The night strechted out longer as each minute went by. The pitch black coolness of the night hit my skin as we walked out the door. I didn't want to do this, but I did. I turned around and looked at it. I looked at its pain and hate. I saw the shame and violence behind the walls. My eyes could see that this was not a home. It was simply a house filled with nothing but posed pictures and doors with locks. The locks were the only safe things in this house. It kept their secrets and lies tucked inside. The locks kept the eyes out.

No. This was not my home.

I embraced Teddy while Dana sat in the car. I was trembling in his arms, but he held me up. 

"I'm-I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. You've gotten hurt too much because of me. You just need to go home and-"

"No. Don't say anything of that. You were worth it all." He kissed my forehead, then started to walk to his car. Halfway there, he turned around, hands in his pockets. "I love you." 

My eyes teared up, and all I could do was blow him a kiss and wave him off. When I got in the car, Dana was smiling.

"Ready to go home?" she asked. I looked around us while the sun started to peak into the horizon. It shone right on the house I was trapped in for so many years. Before, I would've seen this beam of light as a sign, telling me that this was my home. But I knew then that it was God shining down on that house to tell me to run. Run, and never look back. After one last look, I breathed in and out the words in my mind.

"Let's go."

~

Something started flooding inside my heart when I walked into my door. The house was messy and unorganized. This was surprising, because Dana was always on top of things. The living room looked like ten people had slept there for the past week just to leave a mess. 

But the appearance of the place told me one thing: Dana had been missing me. She only ever not cleans when she is stressed out or upset. This made the feeling even more fufilling. I was home. 

"Are you hungry? I can make pancakes, or waffles! Or whatever you want! I know the kitchen is a mess, and I apologize, but I can fix up something real quick. And we have..." Dana started spitting out words while fiddling with pots and pans in the kitchen. I shook my head and chuckled.

"No, stop. We both need to sleep. I'm tired, you're obviously tired. I'll just grab a Pop-Tart and head to bed." She looked at me and grinned. A peice of hair fell from her messy bun and glided across her forehead in front of her eye. She used the will power she had left to blow the strand away. 

"Sounds perfect. I will clean later. Now go to sleep, it's 6 o'clock in the morning!" She smacked my butt as I turned sleepily to my room. My covers were perfectly made when I walked in. The room was spotless. She hadn't touched a thing while I was gone. 

In the kitchen, I could hear the numbers being dialed on the phone. Her voice sounded shriveled and beaten down as she explained the event that took place only a few hours ago. I tried to close my eyes and forget her words. The story replayed in my mind. How could one sleep after something like that? His firey eyes kept flashing in my head. When I heard her hang up, I suddenly forgot what I was pondering about. 

The sheets felt cold as I slipped underneath them. My body curled up to receive more warmth. The sun started to shine bright in my eyes while I was trying to keep them sealed shut. Then I felt a warm hand run through my hair. Dana was sitting on the bed next to me. I squinted up at her figure. 

I could see the deep bags under her eyes and the red lines on her beautiful eyes. She looked like she would soon pass out right then and there. I grabbed her hand and held it tight.

"Thank you Dana. I love you."

She gently leaned down and kissed my forehead, then said "I love you more."