My New Daddy

8- easy escape

*Chapter 8*

The first time I thought about killing myself was in third grade. An eight year old committing suicide. I just wanted it to end. For it all to be over. I could just imagine no longer being hit. No longer being touched. My mother let me suffer the abuse. The person who was supposed to take my Daddy's place only showed me anger.

I looked around me. No one was in the kitchen. Walking quietly over to the drawer under the microwave I grabbed some scissors. My mom would notice if a knife was missing. I snuck back upstairs to my bedroom. Once again I didn't see anyone. I stood there and cried for what seemed like hours just staring at the sharp edge.

This is it. I've had enough. It was time to be free. Tears streamed down my face as I opened the scissors and raised them above me, pointing at my throat.

1...

2...

"BROOK!"

I looked over to see Kaylene standing in the doorway. Her short, ash blonde shaggy hair was wet around her face. She must have been in the shower the whole time. "What are you doing!?"

"Nothing. I was seeing if there was something on the scissors. I have to cut something. " I explained quickly.

***

Later I decided to try a different tactic. After all. Who would take care of my bunny if I was dead? Frank would probably kill it like he did to our last dog.

I grew pale just thinking about it.

Frank had gotten my mom a puppy for her birthday. He got the puppy for free from a friend who didn't want to potty train a bunch of animals.  It was a black lab. He was beautiful.  My mom decided to name him D.O.G. How original.

My mom did pretty good at potty training him while Frank was away during the weeks. On the weekends Frank mostly stayed outside working on his new car. Everything was going great for awhile. D.O.G. even got to sleep in by my cousins and I on weekends.

We were lucky when the weekends seemed to be sunny so Frank never witnessed when D.O.G. had an accident. Until one weekend it poured. We tried to mostly keep the puppy upstairs by all of us kids, but we couldn't help it when we all had to go downstairs to clean house. It was my job to sweep the kitchen since I was the only one who actually liked doing it. That's when I heard Frank screaming from by the stairs. "Look at what you did you little mutt!"

Oh no. I thought. D.O.G.'s in trouble. I snuck around the corner to see what was wrong. Being as quiet as possible so I could go unnoticed I peeked around the wall.

My eyes went wide as I watched Frank shove the defenseless puppy's head into the ground. D.O.G. had an accident and would now pay the price. His head was now covered in his own pee and all I could do was pray this would end soon. I now understood why my mother always said 'be careful what you wish for.' Because then it did end. It ended horribly. Frank picked up the black lab and threw him against the wall.

D.O.G. laid motionless. I ran through the the livingroom to the kitchen and collapsed. Crying on the floor.

I shuddered at the memories.

I remembered when I was sick from being stuck outside during the winter. How Frank kept clear so he wouldn't catch it. That was exactly what I needed to do. It would be a little harder since it was September but I knew it would be cold at night.

After supper and everyone was in bed I snuck out. Since us three girls shared the upstairs living room as a bedroom we had a door that led to outside. I managed to unlock the door without waking anyone up. Since the goal was to get sick I didn't bother with a jacket and went out in my rugrats pajamas.

The door closed a little harder than i hoped it would, but after waiting a moment I knew I was in the clear. I must have been out there for hours just staring up at the stars. When I couldn't take it anymore I snuck back in to my bed shivering.

The next morning I woke up to Olivia and Kaylene panicing. "Why is the door unlocked?!"

"I don't know Olivia! I didn't do it!" Kaylene defended herself.

"What if someone broke in!" Olivia was freaking out. I sneezed and watched both girls turn to me.

Realization crossed both girls faces. It was easy to figure out it must have been me. "Please don't tell on me! I promise I din't leave! I didn't mean to forget to lock the door back up!" I was pratically in tears.

They calmed me down and promised they wouldn't tell. I was glad I was able to get myself sick. after doing it a couple more times Olivia figured out I was getting sick from sneaking out at night. She swore she would tell if I knept doing it. It was nice being away from Frank for so long. But now it was over. Once again I would have to face him after this cold was gone.