Hello, Privet! #1: Hello/Привет

Chapter 43

ANTON

I kiss her as I kissed her before, and I am holding her and touching her face and then we are lying beside each other and she kisses me back.  I can hear her breathing.  I thought I would feel nervous with her. But I feel calm, and warm, and safe. My arm hurts and my entire body hurts, but I don't even mind. It's like the pain is only making me feel her more when her body rubs against me. She lets me take her dress off, and she holds her hair over her shoulder, and I kiss her neck, down to her back as I pull down the zipper. I had torn off her sleeve when I tried to pull her dress off her.

Now that I know she will not run away, I don't have to hurry and we can take our time and I can make this last as long as possible. She lies down beside me and I move over her, touching her face and the back of her head.  Her hair is soft.  I trace the outline of her eyebrows. She has a very small scar on the left one.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Napoleon," she answers.

"Napoleon?"

"My horse. He sort of kicked me in the face when I was ten," she says.

I kiss it and she closes her eyes slowly, smiling. "Did it hurt?"

"It's just a little cut."

She touches my hand and holds it as if we are going to shake hands, which is funny because our hands have never touched like that before this night, not even to shake hands. I let go of her hand and stroke her up her arm to her shoulder to her neck to her face.  She is looking at me like that again, like she is uncertain of me.  I think she is still nervous, maybe she's afraid...And I think of her on days when she is all dressed up in her proper clothes, blouses with those buttons and the collars and the skirts that reach to her knees or just two inches above her knees, or her tights and her flat shoes, her coats, her scarves, and her eyeglasses, and now, here she is, and she is letting me touch her everywhere.

"You know, I have always liked you," I tell her, and then kiss her. "I think about you all the time."

"Really?" she asks when I stop to catch my breath.

"Yeah." I kiss her ear. "I can listen to you talking all day."

"I thought you didn't like people who talk a lot."

I touch her face and kiss her forehead. "You are not 'people.'  You are Sophie."

"Even when I fight with you?" she asks.

"But especially when you fight with me," I say, and kiss her. She closes her eyes.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" she asks.

"In your brother's office," I answer.

She seems surprised. "You remember me?"

"Of course." I smile. "How can I forget you, devochka? You taught me a lesson in front of those people."

"I'm sorry I was so rude...I know I get a little carried away sometimes."

"What did you think of me then?" I ask her.

She smiles. "I thought you were a big jerk, of course."

I laugh softly and kiss her again.  She changes her position, lying on her side so she can look at me.  I feel her breathing softly, but her heart is beating very fast.  She touches my face, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

"It's difficult for me to get close to people," she says.

"I know."

"I don't just do this sort of thing."