The Many Faces of Love

Asher (The Unexpected)

A/N: *Names have been changed to protect individual's identities.

I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, something I’ve struggled with admitting until now. Half of the reason our relationship fell apart was me. I always blamed Asher, in everything. I always felt let down and hurt, constantly. I never saw how hard he did try and everything he did sacrifice to be with me. I never appreciated it, and I will probably never get the chance to tell him that.

We fought a lot about cigarettes and Asher smoking. I hated the smell; I didn’t want to kiss him unless he brushed his teeth and washed his hands. I made his life miserable until he eventually decided to give it up entirely, at least when he was around me.

Asher too made many mistakes. His biggest mistakes seemed to always revolve around other girls, drinking, and lying. There was one girl in particular who was texting Asher right after he had moved in with me. I remember he was in the shower, and his phone was going off non-stop…so I picked it up to see what it was, and had a huge shock. He had been texting this girl all day about spending the night with her…and he was already dating and living with me!!! I was dumbfounded. I was even more paranoid from that moment on because I had been lied to so much in the past…and now Asher was walking their footsteps.

Saturday, July 20th, 2008

The Difference between the One and the Ones I Thought Were the One 

Some people feel my relationship with Asher is rushed. Some people think that if I do accept his proposal in September, it could be the biggest mistake of my life. But no one takes into consideration I have thought about this. Why would I tell him we are going to have a long engagement?? Because I want to be completely sure this is what I want for the rest of my life. I've been thinking a lot about why all my other relationships didn't work out...and why I truly, deep down, believe this one will survive it all.

Here is a list of the people I thought were "the one" at one point in my life or another:

-Gunnar

-Carson

-Ephraim

Here is a list of the people I KNOW are "the one":

-Asher

Asher is so different from any of my exes. He is truly the only person who has loved me for me, and stood behind every decision I've made. He's wanted to take care of me, and make a future for us. He is not a liar...he is not a kleptomaniac...he is not abusive...he has never called me names...he rarely hurts my feelings...he doesn't want anyone but me...and could care less about all of the other girls in the world...when he does hurt my feelings, he apologizes and makes up for it...he is my soul mate. We have a give and take relationship. We are equal. And we are both willing to compromise, because we want to make it last forever. My family likes him...he enjoys my family...and I knew the moment I met him I would change his life forever...which is exactly what we both have done for each other.

I've said it many times before, but he is truthfully the best man I have ever been with. I believe this with my whole heart. God, I love this man. I want him to be my last, and only. He is the one.

I eventually forgave Asher because our relationship was so new, and we were still getting used to living with one another. I wanted things to work out; I wanted Asher to change for me; to change for the better. And it started happening. His friends began noticing huge changes, and told me I was the best thing to ever happen to him. They honestly thought he could never be tamed or ever change, but I proved them wrong.

Asher cut his drinking back immensely. When I first began dating him, he would drink every night and go to the bar constantly. But after a couple months of us dating, he changed in his bar nights for nights in with me. He knew that if he didn’t at least cut back, he would lose me entirely.