No Strings Attached (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 5~Empty Promises

"I haven't been completely honest with you." I start off looking down ashamed.

Why am I ashamed you ask. I have every right to be ashamed, to be ashamed of myself. I still can't believe what I did, what I did to Shawn.

"What are you talking about Em." He breaks my thoughts I look up at him to see his caring but comforting eyes. His thick eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

I instantly look away and try to focus on something else in the room. My eyes focus on the MacBook on my desk, I guess that will do. When was the first MacBook created? I ask myself. I guess it had to be by Bill gates or something or it could be someone else.....I should look this up when I get the chanc-

"Emily." I turn my attention to Shawn. "Are you going to tell me what you have to tell me or are you going to stare off into space?" He chuckles at my lack of words.

"Oh, right, sorry." I say with a sheepish smile. I take a deep breath. "Do you remember the time when we weren't speaking to each other?" I ask, already knowing his answer.

"Yeah, what about it." He asks shifting uncomfortably do to the touchy topic.

"I was really sad during that time, I wouldn't speak to people for a long period of time." I say trying to ease into the news.

"Emily you told me this already." Shawn says thinking he knows it all but in reality he doesn't he doesn't know anything.

"There's more to it." I say looking up at him. His expression changes from knowingly to concentration. "I um was so sad I was looking for comfort, comfort from anyone.....I just wanted to feel like everything was okay, but everything wasn't okay." I sigh "One day Gilinsky stopped by.......he um dropped off some speakers him and my brother borrowed. It was only suppose to be a stop by, he was only suppose to just drop something off." I say starting to get frustrated with myself for not letting it be just a drop by.

"Emily," Shawn buts in. "It's okay if you hooked up with him." A little relief washes over me but doesn't last for long because I wasn't finished. "Of course it kind of hurts, but remember I hooked up with Lauren during that time." My heart hurts as he speaks Lauren's name, whatever happened to her anyway? I push that to the back of my mind and continue.

"No Shawn," I say. "It wasn't just a hook up...." I trail off. " me and him got really close I-I told him everything. But that's not the point. What I'm trying to get at is that me and Jack never really ended things-"

"What does that mean?" Shawn says confusion laced in his words.

"It means that me and jack um," I bite my lip nervously. "Never really stopped dating."

Shawn slowly detaches his hand from my lap as he hears those words. A piece of my heart breaks when I don't feel his soft comforting touch anymore.

"Shawn, I care for you I love you-"

"You knew this? You knew this while we were hooking up?" Shawn says ignoring my I love you, which hurts me.

"Well kind of-"

"Kind of!" He scoffs laughing coldly. "How do you kind of know you have a boyfriend while you hook up with another guy, that guy being your ex best friend!" He says getting a bit louder.