No Strings Attached (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 8- You Cant Fix a Broken Heart

"Emily." He breaths, he's shocked as if he wasn't expecting to see me anytime soon.

Being honest I wasn't expecting to see him either, I didn't think before I flew to a different country. I didn't think as I roamed the streets of Pickering in my car, for one minute I didn't think, i just did it.

I'm glad I did it, no matter what goes down tonight wether he forgives me, or tells me he never wants to see me again. I will never regret coming to see him, because out of all of it I got to see him again I got to see his small but unforgettable scar on his left cheek, his slight lazy eye, his brown quiffed hair, his plump pink lips, his new tattoo on his right arm that symbolizes something special to him.

He's special to me. He'll always be special to me.

"What are you doing here." He says breaking me out of my thoughts. The way he said it, he wasn't just surprised he was, he sounded irritated, mad, annoyed?

I swallow down on a dry throat.

"I-uh." I stop. Damn i rehearsed over and over what I was going to say, I ran the speech I would give, In my head any chance I got. On the flight here, on the drive here, even while I stood at his door step moments ago, in this very spot I was so certain what I was going to say, so determined it was the perfect way to say it. But in this very moment I forgot it all, everything, I can't even remember one word.

His bitter laugh snaps me out of my thoughts.

He shakes his head in despair, his mouth slowly forms into a frown.

"Why are you here?" He says softly, but not for my benefit, for his. He doesn't want me to hear the hurt in his voice. The small voice cracks that indicates he still has emotion.

"Shawn-" I start but as soon as I say his name he winces as if it stung to hear it come from my voice.

"You know what, actually I don't want to know why you're here, just do me a favor and leave, please." He says looking down at the porch, avoiding my eyes.

My eyes sting as tears try to produce, but I refuse it, fighting off the urge to cry.

"I can't just go." I say in a whisper.

"Emi-" he stops himself from saying my name. "Please just," he pauses as if debating what he should say. He sighs. "Just go."

I feel the need to let the tears stream down my face, but I need to be strong.

"So, you just want me to go? To leave and never come back. To just forget about me? About-about," I take a breath. "Us?"

"It wasn't hard for you to forget about us when you were with him right?" He says.

He looks up at me and it's now I realized why he wasn't looking at me, why he would only stare down. It was there I saw how broken he was, how the tears cascaded down his pale cheeks from his blurred eyes, all the emotion the pain, the hurt, the broken trust. It was all visible in his tear filled eyes.

My heart broke at the sight, naturally my instincts made me take a step towards him my arms open for him to be embraced. But as soon as my foot moved an inch forward he jolted back.

"No. " is what he said. "Stay away. I can't- I just can't." His voice it was so vulnerable, tears blurred my vision.

I've never seen him like this, so, so, scared.

"Why? Why can't you?" I ask.

His eyes sorrow, tears dropping to the ground when they reach his jawline.

"Why" I ask again.

"Because you hurt me!" He snaps making me jump a little. "You broke me down piece by piece, taking a piece of my heart each time, till I had nothing left for you to take! You, you were my best friend, someone I could trust someone who was supposed to love me and keep me from getting hurt, but all you've ever done was cause the hurt." He runs his fingers through his hair tugging at the ends frustratingly looking around then focusing his eyes on me. "Do you get how much I loved you! How much I cared about you! The thought of losing you made me feel like I lost myself too. Do you see me now?I'm a mess I can't do anything, I can't write music the one thing that helps me through my pain doesn't anymore it just causes more. I'm falling apart and I don't know how to stop it!" His voice cracks as tears rush down his face. "Emily you broke me."

My heart breaks at those last 4 words, that one sentence washes over me with guilt.

"I can fix it I promise." I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Fix it?" He asks. "You can't fix this, you can't fix a broken heart. Not this time, especially if you're the one that broke it."

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Sorry I've been gone for a while just got through a tough break up but I'm so happy be back and write for you guys!❤