No Strings Attached (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 10- Recovery

Recovery.

I never knew it was so difficult, for a broken heart at least.

But I soon learned with a broken heart came much worse.

There were the break downs, the nights where you actually thought you were doing good sitting in your room actually with a smile on your face , was I crazy to think I can have a happy moment, I must have been. Because as soon as something reminded me of him it all hit me, it was if I was living the night of the accident again the when the truck hit my car the big impact how one moment of happiness turned into the end of my life, and now it's as if it's happening all over again, and again, and again.

I've come to terms he won't change his mind, I've come to the conclusion he's forgotten about me.

As I scroll through social media passing pictures of him happy, living his life on tour, going to new cities and countries, playing infront of thousands of fans, making music, and again he's.....happy.

How?

I think that to myself every night. It's been 2 months and still I'm still here trying to get over it, but yet I've made little to no progress.

I get it, this is his dream, it's his life, everything he's ever wanted, but it's as if us never happened, as if I was never apart of his life, as if I never existed.

At night I lie awake thinking, hoping, he's thinking about me wondering how I'm doing, while I'm wondering if he ever breaks down like I do, or maybe I want him to, I want to know I'm not overreacting, I want some reassurance I meant as much to him as he meant to me.

But most nights it's hard to believe that, maybe I was so easy to let go because I was nothing to him, I was just a minor bump in his long journey, something he had to get through get over, then after me he's off to better things.

I open my eyes to be faced with the ceiling, the moonlight faintly glistening against it as it peaks through the semi opened shades of my dorm room.

I here the the palm trees peacefully dancing in the light wind outside, soothing me.

But not enough.

Here I am, again. Another night thinking of him, of us.

The beautiful memories, that slowly died in a raging fire of emotions.

Until all that was left was debris.