Canadian Coffee Mishaps and other Strange Happenings

Present Exchange and Gag Jokes (plus that one fight no one cares about)

Slamming the mahogany door on the way into the house, Alfred kicked off his shoes and ran to the Christmas tree. As the two boys got older, they had settled on the tradition of exchanging gifts with each other.

But there was a twist.

After there was the initial exchange, they would all get some stupid gift or gag joke from the store and put it in an unmarked box. Then they would put it in a room at different times and then Nat would bring them all down and place them in a circle. Since they were all adults, it could get dirty and inappropriate.

Which made it all the more enjoyable.

"Come on guys let's go and open some gifts! Mattie hurry!" Gilbert was bouncing up and down, reading the labels on the gifts and sorting them into piles for each person before he remembered he needed to decorate the room a little bit. Beckoning Francis up the stairs, they got to decorating while the others were getting situated inside.

Starting a fire was a must, and Arthur made some hot chocolate for everyone. Alfred sat next to Nat because his present pile was there, and then he wrapped an arm around his wife to be. She found a blanket on the couch so she draped it over them.

"So Nat, what's it like living with my brother on a daily basis?"

"Hell," she answered. Matthew laughed, and she couldn't keep up the grumpy façade as Alfred pouted.

"He treats me well Matthew. He may get annoying and such but he isn't that bad of a roommate. Say, are you going to go to the wedding in April? I didn't send out invites yet but I might as well just ask now."

"Well of course! I'll be sure to bring Gilbert too! Where will it be?"

"Oh, it will be in New York. Don't worry, the address will be on the actual invite. I'll have it on a weekend so then you don't need to miss work. It can't be that bad of a flight from Toronto to N.Y. can it," she asked.

"Of course it isn't. About 4 hours or so. Al, are you excited to get married? I didn't take you to be one to settle down," Matthew thanked Arthur when he came back in with a mug of hot cocoa and took a delectable sip of the liquid chocolate.

"Hell yeah! I'm not totally settling down but close enough I say. As long as this woman over here can handle me I think we'll be fine. I want to have kids eventually too. Well, we both do. But that doesn't matter. It's going to be great, huh honey?"

"Yes, it will be. My sister Katyusha is very excited as well."

"You mean the one with the huge knockers?" Alfred felt the need to point that one out. She sent him a sharp glare and nodded.

"Anyways we need to exchange some gifts for the holidays. I'll get out some brandy and alcohol so then the gag gifts will be better. Francis! Gilbert! Get your arses down here now!" With the angry voice of the Brit, the mischievous duo ran down the stairs and sat next to their partners for the annual "FACE family gift exchange edition number 22."
.
.
.
"Cool! Look Nat now I have, like, a billion things to put on my burgers! In a box were various condiments, contrary from ketchup, mustard, relish, and so on. There were wild flavors like chipotle barbecue mustard, and honey ketchup, and things that sounded downright toxic. They were all going to blame Gilbert if he died.

Next up was Matthew. He was wary in picking up a present from Francis, his father, but did none the less. It was moderately heavy, and so he had Gilbert hold some of the sides as he tore the green paper. Inside was an unmarked package with a crappily drawn dick in it. Of course we could all assume what was in it. With a fake sincere smile, he placed it to his side. Later he would come to find out it was only a nice bottle of wine and a pancake-specific cookbook.

After Arthur getting a cookbook and protesting how he can make good sweets in his gag gift and Francis burnt scones he gagged at, it was Gilbert's turn. Alfred, not knowing how cool he was going to be, got a beer bottle that opened up and shot out a puff of smoke dust and confetti. He was going to warn him of the dangers of opening the bottle, but he decided to instead film it for generations after him.

Marvelling at the beer bottle, he grinned and hugged it to his cheek.

"This is the awesome me's favourite beer! I gotta take a sip!" Upon lifting the tab, his happiness parade was ruined quick. Pale red eyes wide open, he blinked a couple times then balled up the can as best as he could in his fist.

"Bloody hell Alfred! That was obscene and over the top! Gilbert's face looks like rubbish and who knows how long it will take to get that off.. God damn you Alfred!"

"What did I do?!" Alfred asked defensively.

"You just had to let that go too far like a lot of things! You barely got to know Gilbert before probably ruining his Christmas."

"Chérie, calm down a tad," Francis put a hand on his shoulder for a reassurance as Matthew and Natalya just looked at each other in shock and disappointment.

"What?!-"

"I'm going upstairs." Without another word or snide comment, Arthur walked into the master bedroom.

"Sorry kids, mom is just a little irritated. He'll be fine by morning." Francis scuffled into their room as well, and you could hear Arthur starting to raise his voice and get more agitated.

"Come on Gil," Matthew stretched and grabbed his hand. "Let's go upstairs and get your face cleaned off."

They walked up the stairs, and Gilbert was determined to not have that ruin their night.
.
.
.
A/N: Hi I'm not dead. There has been a whole bunch that has been going on in le admins life and I haven't found time to write. I still have school and all now too and it's hard to get a lot of free writing time without locking myself in my room and being a little suspicious lmao.
I'm sorry for the slow updates and stuff guys honestly,,, I wish I could make it up to you. I will have another chapter out ASAP, which will be shorter I think than most of my other chapters. Anyways, I'll see you all hopefully in the next chapter! -OllieAwesome