Losing Him

A Mother's Touch

Chapter Nineteen

A Mother's Touch

Savannah ran into her mailbox with Leon's bike, her eyes flooded with so much tears, she didn't see where she was going.

She had been crying the entire bike ride over, from Leon's house to hers.

She tumbled off the bike and onto her front lawn.

She loudly sobbed as she got up and dusted herself off. She had never cried this much before.

She tried to silence he cries; she didn't want anyone inside her house or down the street to hear or even see her this messy.

Her makeup was smudged, her dress was covered in grass stains and ripped at the hem, but Savannah didn't care.

She wiped her tears and made her way inside her house as quietly as she could.

Thank goodness everyone was asleep, she had embarrassed herself enough for one night and just wanted it to be over.

She crept upstairs and into her bedroom.

She didn't bother turning on the light.

She walked and collapsed on her bed, sitting in a cradled position, sobbing quietly.

After about 10 minutes of crying and feeling sorry for herself, Savannah's bedroom door was swung open.

She turned to see her mother's shadowy figure standing.

Savannah didn't say anything. She didn't have the heart or the strength.

Her mother walked towards her and sat beside her, wrapping her arms around Savannah.

Even though Savannah appreciated her mother's comfort, it made her sob even harder than before.

"Shh.... It's okay, just breathe and tell me what's wrong," said her mother comfortingly.

Savannah tried to speak, think and control her breathing at the same time, but failed to do any.

She stayed silent, slowing down her breathing and trying pour her heart out to her mother,

"Savannah what's the matter?" she asked,

Savannah stayed silent, trying to figure out her feelings and how to express them.

"Savannah, please speak, because I got a degree in Psychology, not mind-reading," said her mother humorously.

"Mum.... I think I'm in love with Leon."

It was painful to say out loud because it made it real but it was also a relief to let it out.

She no longer felt like she was keeping a deep dark secret that weighed heavily on her heart.

She took a deep breath and her mother gave her an encouraging look.

"I've ruined everything... I let my feelings get in the way and lost Leon who was possibly the greatest friend in the world," sobbed Savannah.

Savannah explained everything between her and Leon for the past few months to her mother.

It felt good to let it all out.

"Savannah darling," began her mother,

"the human mind tends to exaggerate situations, making it seem a lot worse than it actually is... give yourself time to mull things over," she said tightening her grip on Savannah's shoulder.

"The most important thing is for you to work out how you feel Savannah, so you could explain to poor Leon, who doesn't have a clue about any of this."

"Mum, that's the thing... I don't know how I feel...

"My mind is flashing vivid signals that it's all a bad idea, I can see it ruining our friendship but my heart... just wants him for my selfish self.... Which voice do I listen to Ma?"

her mother looked at her sincerely.

"Listen to the loudest one."

They sat together in the dark, in silence.

Savannah realised that it was the first time in about a half-hour that her tears ran dry.

"Love is a strange thing Savannah... heck, even I can't explain it.

"Your Aunt, Nadine and I were inseparable, people used to think that her and I were twins, there wasn't a day where we weren't together as kids," laughed Anita.

"And then we grew apart... time got the best of us, I settled down, had my own family... and it was heart breaking that she couldn't do the same.

"I tried to be there for her... but I guess seeing me getting blessed with children year after year, only reminded her of what she was incapable of doing," spoke Anita staring into the distance,

"One day... about a week after I'd given birth to Ben, your father organised a lunch, invited his family and mine to introduce Ben to the family.

"Nadine and I got into an argument about goodness knows what... I had the audacity to call her jealous of my fertility," her mother's voice broke.

"Nadine stormed out and as she was backing out of the driveway, she ran over Michael's hand... crushing two of his fingers and tearing his ligaments..."

Savannah was shocked, she felt like she had made a historical discovery.

Not only did she know why she never remembered her Aunt, but she understood the story behind Mike's damaged hand.

"We took Mike to the hospital... I cursed my sister and told her never wanted to ever see her again... and that was the last time I ever did." She finished tears streaming down her face.

She sniffled, "that's the thing about love... it makes you do things you don't want to do... I could've been there for my sister, but I was too stubborn to be.

"I was blinded by anger and frustration... but all that goes away... the only thing that doesn't is your love for a person."

She sighed, smiled and wiped away her tears, "the doctor told us to put Mike in a sport as a form of therapy to regain mobility in his hands... looking back at it, it was a blessing disguised as a curse.

"If your Aunt never ran over Mike's hand, he wouldn't be the elite basketballer he is today," she said smiling.

"I never got to tell her that..." she said softly.

They sat in silence once more, Savannah had learned more tonight about her family than she ever did.

She felt better, about herself, about Leon and about the entire messy situation.

Savannah looked at her mother fondly, "thanks Mum... for everything," she said sincerely,

"thank you for making me feel useful again," her mother confessed smiling down at her.

For once in a very long time she knew what she had to do, and she knew what she was going to tell Leon.