Titanium (Ashton Irwin Love Story)

Not Him

"I'll see you tomorrow." I smile while I kiss him again.

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I walk home, still confused. Why would my mum act like that? She never did. There needs to be some serious shit going on.

When I'm home I open the front door. I close it again and call for my mum.
"Mum? I'm home!!" I yell but there's no reply.
I walk to the living room, no mum. I try the kitchen, still no mum. I try the bathroom, nothing. Then I see the door from my parent's bedroom standing open. I slowly walk in and see my mum on her bed. She's sitting with her face covered in her hands. She didn't notice me yet. I just stand there, still confused until I hear her sob softly.
"Hey mum, are you alright?" I ask worried.
"No, it's your dad... He's...." She begins

To be continued.... >:)

Nah just kidding, let's go on.... :).

"What's with dad? Did he lost his job or something?" I ask.
She shakes her head. Well, actually, her whole body is shaking.
Then it fell onto me. Like a rock that falls in water. I cover my mouth with my hands and look shocked at my mum.
"Mum, please tell me it's not what I think it is." I say almost crying.
"He's in the hospital. He had heart attack." She says while she starts crying again.
"But he isn't... Dead?"
"No, not yet. The doctors gave him a few hours, maybe a day." She says.
"That's why I need you to go to the hospital right now." She says immediately afterwards.
"But you can't drive me like this, we'll get an accident!"
"Then you ask someone else Sierra! As long as you get there before he..."
"It's okay mum, I will." I try to smile, but I can't,
I walk out of the bedroom and grab my phone. With shaking hands I dial the number of Ashton.
"Hello?" He picks up.
"Ashton?"
"Sierra, are you okay?"
"No, you need to drive me to the hospital. Right now."
"What? What happened? Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine. I'll explain everything. Please just come as fast as you can." I didn't want to sound desperate, but I still know I do.
"I'm on my way." He hangs up the phone and I walk to the kitchen.
I grab a glass of water and wait til Ashton arrives.

It only takes him a few minutes before the black Range Rover stands in front of our house. I walk to the door and open it. I hug Ashton tight while I begin to cry again.
"Shh, baby girl, you can tell me everything in the car." He calms me.
It works, in a weird way, but it works.
He takes me to his car and I got into the passengers seat. I wait until we drive and then begin to tell.
"So, when I came home, I couldn't find my mum. I checked every room she could be in until I reached her bedroom. She was sitting on the bed, crying. She told my that my dad had a heart attack. The doctors gave him a few hours." I say while I almost begin to cry again. No, I need to be strong now. For my mum and myself.

When we arrive at the hospital I ask for my dad.
"He's in room 14." She says.
14. That was one of my lucky numbers. Maybe there happens a miracle and he would be better in no time. I know it's impossible. I sigh and when I reach room 14, I see doctors running in and out. I hear people yelling and Ashton pulls me back. I didn't realize what was going on. I only hear doctors yell things like 'We're loosing him' and 'clear' before a shock goes through the lifeless body of my dad. I could see him laying there, no life in it at all. I wanted to yell, scream, that my dad couldn't give up. He was my superhero. The man that never was scared of the dark. The man that scared the monsters away under my bed. The man that drove me to school just a few days ago. The man that should see me graduate and say that he's proud of me. The man that should walk me down the aisle when I get married. The man that was always there for me. This can't be real.

I still thought that he was going to wake up any moment and tell me this was all a joke. When I realized that that wouldn't I begin to run to my dad, but I was stopped by to strong arms holding me.
"Ashton, let me go!" I yell while tears appearing in my eyes.
"Sierra, you can't go in there."
"I need to." I yell.
I struggle to get free and begin to cry at the same time. Ashton hugs me tight and I begin to cry even harder.
"He can't be dead." I say while I hit Ashtons chest with my fists.
"Shhh." He kisses my forehead.
"I didn't even say goodbye." I say quietly and with a squeaky voice.
"He wouldn't blame you, Sierra."
"You know, the last thing I did with him was fight. In the car, when he drove me to school. It was about how he always needed to do everything for me but I didn't do anything for him. About how much time I spend out of the house, not with my family."
"Sierra, he loved you.."
"I told him he could fuck off. Then I jumped out of the car and walked away."
"Sierra, it was just an argument..."
"But I still didn't mean it literally. This is all my fault. If I didn't yelled at him and was so mad at him maybe he would...." I was cut off by Ashton kissing me.
"Sierra, he loved you. That little fight doesn't change anything about that. This is NOT your fault. You couldn't do anything to prevent this. He would've got the heart attack and he would've died. It maybe sounds harsh, but it's true."

I sigh.
"You're right." I say while I nuzzle my head in his chest,
"But I just wanted to say goodbye, and that I love him."
"He knows that. Believe me, he knows."
"I'm sorry, Are you Mrs. Conewell?" A doctor asks behind me.
"Daughter. Sierra Conewell." I say while shake his hand.
"I'm sorry, but he passed...."
"Yeah, I know, I saw." I cut him off.
"Okay, well, call me if you need anything." He says and walks away.

"Ash, can we please go home?" I ask to him.
"Of course, c'mon." He says grabbing my hand.

We walk out of the building to his car. He drives me home and we do our goodbyes. Then I open the door. I was to the kicthen and see my mum in a chair.
"Hey mum." I say softly.
"Hey... And?"
"He's...He . Passed away. Even before I could speak to him,." I say quietly.
I thought she was gonna cry again but her reaction surprises me. Not in a good way.
"This is all your fault." She glares suddenly at me.
"What? How could this be my fault?"
"Oh C'mon, don't play innocent. You saw how he struggled and still you didn't help him. We were working our butts off for you, but you never helped." She says, Her voice low. It scares me a little.
"Mum, take it easy. This is a shock for both of us. We need to be there for each other."
"It's all your fault!" She yells while she runs at my and slaps me in my face. I fall on the ground and put my hand on my cheek. I look at her and she seems angry. I slowly stand up while my eyes begin to tear up. She slaps me again, harder this time. I fall on the ground again but stand up quickly and run to my room. I hear her yell and run after me. I'm run to my room and lock it. Just before she bumps into it.
"You can't stay in there forever." She whispers before I hear her walking away.

~Two weeks later~

The funeral of my dad was a few days ago. It was sad, but I was happy that Ashton was there for me. My mum changed, a lot. She was drunk almost everyday, and then she would hit me and throw things at me. She was getting furious if she missed me, so I chose the most soft objects and let them hit me. Ashton doesn't know about this, and I don't want him to know.

I'm sitting in my last class that I have with Luke. I smile at him and he smiles back.
We sit there until class is over. When it's over, Luke walks over to me.
"Hey Sierra, let's hang out today, maybe at your place?" He asks me.
"I can't, I have tons of Homework that I need to finish." It was a lie, but I know sure that my mum is drunk when I come home, I used it also when Ashton wanted to come over.
"Well, okay then, maybe another time." He smiles and then walks away.
I sigh and walk home very slowly.
When I come home I see that my mums on the couch drinking a bottle of vodka. It's 3 in the fucking afternoon! I sigh and try to sneak to my room but she notice me.
"You bitch!" She yells before grabbing me by my hair and pushing me agains the wall. I whimper and she kicks in my stomach, making me collapse on the floor. I grab with two hands to my stomach.
"C'mon Stand up you little slut!" She yells at me.
I don't move, what makes her even angrier. she kicks and hits me over and over again, I squeak everytime, she hits me. Until it suddenly stopped....