You're Killing Me Inside

chapter 1

Chapter  1:” My boredom kills me”

 It was so boring; I should go somewhere and have DATE ON MYSELF. I got up and on my way to the CR, when I heard my phone Vibrated.

From: Aishlara

               Hey! Come with me, and enjoy this boring day. I know you’re not busy and won’t decline my offer, I know you too well. And besides my favorite band is coming in Mall and we’re going to watch it together see you there!

How come that this girl is so very confident that I won’t reject her offer? And she’s right my boring day must be fun watching her favorite band on stage playing such stupid love song! I reply her “ok” as accepting her offer.  I can’t stand her if she went to me crying and making some drama scene because I declined her offer. I take a bath after that and left the house.

ON THE MALL

It’s almost an hour waiting for her inside the mall. I almost emptied my drink waiting for her. How come she became this late knowing her favorite band will play today?

“ALLYSSON! “ I faced that person who calls my name. ALLYSSON VILLAFUERTE is my name. I don’t have any clue why they give me a boyish name.

“Why you’re so late then?”

“I was stuck on that traffic and that dog came on my way and I almost—“ I cut her out, she’s so noisy

“They’re going to start within 30 minutes, let’s go” I said.

“thank you for coming I know you won’t reject me” she said confidently.

I can say that she has a good taste of choosing a boy band. They are playing love song of course! Curse all the love song on this earth!! The pain is still inside me, that man who came and breaks me into pieces.

“di bat ikaw nga yung reyna at ako ang iyong hari

ako yung prinsesang sagip mo palagi

ngunit ngayoy marami ng nabago’t nangyari

ngunit di ang pagtingin na gaya pa rin ng

dararatda dati

dararatda dati

dararatda dati

na gaya pa rin ng DATI”

I hate him, I really do! Everyone shout when the song ended. There’s no happy ending in such beautiful songs they always ended up in such pain and sorrow!

I left the crowd including Aishlara, I told her I’m leaving as she gave me her nod and concern expression. I gasped on air that I’m ok, where I know from myself that I’m not. That man whom I really love and spend much time gave me suicide, NOTHING BUT SUICIDE.

Before I completely left the concert I heard their main vocalist

“This is for the girl whom I really love among anyone else, the girl I wish to spend my life with. Who gave me happiness and make me realize how beautiful the world could be. I am doing this because I really love her; this next song is for you. I dedicate this to you. Thank you for the patience and love you gave to me until now, I LOVE YOU”  the main vocalist said.  I was frozen realizing what’s happening to my surrounding. I can’t imagine I’m having this kind of scene again, that scene, how can I forget it? He proposes to the girl in front of everyone without any hesitation, he took the risk. And his plan became so successful, they became couple.  And I came back to the reality when someone bumped me! The HELL! I heard his sorry, but I didn’t turn back. I don’t want to see how romantic that place is. And that man I can kill him for bumping me. There, I left the crowd completely.

I went to bookstore to look some beautiful books, but I failed. I left and went to some arcades center and enjoy myself. I texted Aishlara that I am in Quantum. She wants to go after me, but I said finish the concert. Why am I not enjoying this?!? I’m getting too mad! I supposed to enjoy this! But what the heck is happening to me? Someone caught my attention in that place, they were dancing I went there to confirm my instinct but at the same time praying that it was not him. I’m not yet ready to see him. I was frozen and don’t want to believe what I’m seeing, my mind can’t function well. It was him and I am sure of it. I left the area, everything flashbacks instantly. I hate what I am feeling right now. I felt a hot liquid on my cheek as I ran away from that hell. YES IT’S THE HELL! THE HELL I THOUGHT A HEAVEN THAT WILL SAVE MY BOREDOM.

God did I do wrong this day to make me punish so hard? Why now? I am in the process of forgetting him, the process of making something new and move on. I know you’re doing it in purpose. But please I never wish of seeing him again not now, not the next day, not even more. All I want is to forget the pain and everything that bind us. Can you give it to me? I felt being betrayed by someone whom I trust. Please spare me with that man. I want to forget the pain.

 As I said to myself while still running and stop to food court. I bought ice cream. Ice cream can relieve all my pain, temporarily.