A Deal With The Devil

Elladiah Wechlser

I shut my car's door and pressed my button to lock it. Then I stared at a very beautiful view. There's no view as beautiful and as peaceful as this place.....I headed to a the one and only large oak tree in this place and sitted on the grassy shade. It's already 4:30, the sun will set soon. The golden yellow started to get orange and will soonly turn to blue from the illumination of the moon.

This place is as peaceful as ever. I've never seen a person ever staying here.

I sighed in satisfaction. It's been two month's since I came here. I used to visit here. This place is where I can rest from the chaotic world of showbiz. I can hide from the cameras, the media, the fans, the crowd, from the bashers and from the real world.

This place is where I can express myself.

I'm so sick and tired of the real world. I sometomes want to rest from the chaos permanently, but I can't leave my loved ones.

I am always called embarrassing and hurting names from people. They call me names, very hurting names.

Bitch, slut, wanton, prostitute, bimbo,mercenary,  you name it. I have sink them all, not just in tv's, but also in social media.

I have to admit that I act as a bitch. Being a supermodel acts like and pose like a daring and seductive woman. But beyond from my career, I act like a real one, I fucked up guys for my sake, married or bachelor, I don't choose as long as I get what I want. Fame. Because, that's what I have it. My body. This is the key to all my success. Call me gold-digger, I'm used to it. It causes me to catch all insults and bash not just from people but even to celebrity, yes I am inside of their gossips. It's pretty tiring actually, you think I'm living in cloud nine? Welcome to my world, in hell.

Even though, I act like a certified bitch, a woman who dont-care-about-your-gossips and mind-your-own-business woman, but I always get hurt by the insults and bash by the people. Like I'm never used to it. I may be a bitch but I still have feelings, I still get hurt.

That Elladiah Wechsler everyone use to know as, strong, daring, fierce, seductive and fearless woman. Behind the walls of a that woman, hids the broken and naive little girl who just figured out what the real world is, comparing to the world she used to know, that world love conquers all, that love will find a way. A girl who just found out that her view os totally wrong and still learning to stand on her own.

The world doesn't know who I am. They only know my mistakes.

My parent's wanted me to be a famous beauty queen someday. Like my mom, she is the former Ms. World Germany. She wanted me to be like her, to follow her footprints, that's why I persevere to be a beauty queen, however, I'm in the back of the wall winning such pageant. But, not as bad, I become a supermodel.

But to be honest, that's not the real Ella, I don't want to be famous. But what else can I do? I'm already here. There's no going back. I have already shredded my blood and dignity in this career.

What the real Elladiah loves music. It calms her. Express her soul. And her feelings. That talent I'm afraid to flaunt because my parents don't want to. I'm afraid that the real Elladiah only shows herself whenever she's alone, in the shower, or she's here in this place.

I write songs to be honest, and also to be honest, I have sold some of them secretly. Like, thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran. I once call it 'right where we are', 'Like I'm gonna lose you by Meghan Trainor, 'Bubbly' by Colbie Caillat. Those are my compositions.

I also donate 10% of my income to a charity for breast cancer patients. I knew the feeling to have a loved one with a breast cancer, my mom lost her left boob because of that.

I unzipped my guitar bag and took my guitar then also my pad and pen. Where do I left of with my music? I flipped through the pages and saw my latest composition it only needs last verse and Im done.

I positioned my fingers through the string and started plucking the guitar while closing my eyes. Imagining someone. A man in my past. Ethan. My highschool lover.

The day we kept our relationship secret. He is already engaged in a very young age. He is arranged into marrying someone. My heart suddenly opened wide and pain strucks it till it numb through the very edge of pain. My tears welled in my eyes and I let it flew down. No one will see me anyway.

Until the day, he finally let go of me and even cursed me. It hurts so much..... It's unbearable to feel. Im sure he is happy now and surely have fallen in love with her wife now and loaded with kids. And I'm sure he forgot about me. It's so unfair......

I closed my eyes and continued to pluck my guitar. Feeling the music.

I sang the chorus.

Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you in the dancefloor?
I wish that it could be like that?
Why can't it be like that?
Cause I'm yours......

I sniffed and wiped my last tears and wrote on my pad while strumming my guitar.

Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops.
Why can't it be like that?
Wish I could be like that.
Cause I'm yours....

Why can't we be like that?
Wish we could be like that.....

Strumming my last chord, I breathed in satisfactory.....

The sun finally settled down as that moon replaces it. Me, when will I move on?
............

This part is a teaser for my upcoming book. Any suggestions regarding the title?