Meraki* (MaiChard Fanfic)

Chapter 13 - Yaya

24 April 2016 (PM)

Dear Menggay,

I never really doubted what we are to each other. All that mattered to me was the fact that we love what we are doing, and we are able to bring out the best in each other. I never had a problem that we tend to keep our relationship private (though I really want to tell everyone that we now have each other) because it prevents the excessive prying of reporters. All I ever wanted was to make you happy (and I know you are) because you're the reason why I'm smiling.

You know, it's funny. I used to think that pursuing my mother's dream will make me happy. I used to think that being an artist, overcoming my stage fright and insecurities, is the only way I can make up for things that I haven't done for her. Or rather, the only way to show her how much I love and miss her. Kind of like a son's gift for his dearly departed mother.

You see, I never really realized that, while I was so busy making other people happy, I was already forgetting to make myself happy. I was already drowning and I wasn't even aware of it. I'm not complaining, of course. I am thankful for everything that has happened and the blessings that it brought me. But holding on to that belief was quite overwhelming and exhausting. I had to smile even when I was on the verge of tears, and I had to persevere even when I felt like I was dying. Honestly, it was hard to stay strong but I had to.

I was always the one saving someone else...until I met you. Love, you save me time and again. Once you held my hand, you didn't let me slip away (like I did).  I couldn't be more glad because now I know that I don't always have to be so strong. I can be vulnerable and you will always be there to remind that you will always be there to support me. I can talk to you about anything (even my secrets) and you won't let go of my hand.

I never really expected that, after all these years, God gave me someone whose worth is quite incomprehensible. I'm not just talking about love because you gave me so much more than that. You gave me a purpose and something to hope for. You gave me the chance to love myself.

To be honest, I sometimes ask God what good had I done to be worthy of someone like you. You outweigh everything and anything that I ever received in my life, love. That's how special you are to me. Even if you try to deny (and dismiss it), only one person is in my heart. And that's you, Nicomaine. No one else.

So I decided to stop second-guessing myself. I'll just put all my cards on the table and let you decide if you are ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I'll let you decide if you want to wake up beside me in the morning, and fall asleep in my arms at night. I'll let you decide if you want us to experience everything life has to offer.  I'll let you decide if I am worthy enough to be called your husband and the father of your children. It will be your choice, love.

Whatever your decision is, I'll accept it and wait however long you want me to. I already made my choice and I am never letting you go. I'll stay here...right here beside you. I love you...and nothing will ever change that. Don't worry, I'll tell you this every day for the rest of our lives if you let me.

If I decided to give you this letter, I know that you'll think that I'm crying right now but I'm not. Writing this letter was a challenge, of course, but my heart is happy. I am happy. Because you came into my life and showed me that it's better with two us together. 

I wonder...is Italy the best setting for a proposal? What do you think?

Love,

RJ

***

24 April 2016 (AM)

With a sigh, Alden headed into Jerald's dressing room. They still have an hour or two before they are called on stage. He opened the door before poking his head in.