Meraki* (MaiChard Fanfic)

Chapter 11 - Ikaw Lang at Ako

02 January 2016

Dear Menggay,

I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying this: thank you for making me happy. You've never wanted anything but success and happiness for me. Sometimes, I feel like I should be asking God why I deserved all these blessings – why I deserved you. A lot of things happened to me in the past year and, most of the time, you were right there beside me.

It's quite incredible. I will forever be indebted to our fans, Eat Bulaga, and to you for doing what might have been impossible for me at that time - making me feel like I'm whole again. How did you do that? You took away all the pain and loneliness inside me, replacing it with joy and love. I felt that need to desperately cling to you – to keep you close to me – so that I wouldn't lose someone who is more than a breath of fresh air in a crowded room.

I never told you this but, when I met you, the barriers I put up crumbled into dust. I finally found someone who is willing to know and love Richard Faulkerson Jr. - the boy who lost his mother and had to grow up too soon. I gave up and discarded a lot of my dreams because my mother always wanted me to be an actor. It wasn't easy, as I might have told you before, because the odds of making it to the top has always been a million to one.

But I don't regret it. Not even a little. Because I have a lot more to be thankful today. Because I was able to help my family. Because all those days that I spent studying my craft finally paid off. Because my relationship with God strengthened. Because I was able to achieve something which was beyond my wildest dreams. Because I was able to fulfill my mother's wish. Because I met you.

In the past, I always took the greatest comfort in the fact that my Mom was in heaven and that she was with God watching over me. Now, I am taking comfort in the fact that God and my Mom sent you here to meet me. I remember thinking that Eat Bulaga served as God's instrument to spread his blessings, to help me get where I am today and to help me find my way to you.

If you're wondering, it is the reason why I always seemed to try even harder to make you happy and content with everything that has been happening. It's the reason why I always feel like I need to tell you that I love you. It's the reason why I always ask if you're happy. I couldn't help it, love.

Believe it or not, I'm quite scared of losing you and not being good enough to stand beside you in the spotlight. I don't want to drive you away because where does that leave me? I don't think I'll be able to live a life without you. So I continue to talk to you, telling you about my past and who I am. I keep hoping that whatever I have been doing is enough to convince that I am never gonna leave you, and that you should stay with me.

It's quite ironic because I'm supposed to be this cool and confident guy who is supposedly one of the most sought-after leading men in cinema and television. These are just labels that don't define who I really am - it merely says what people (who almost always barely know me) think I am. Only a few people know who I am. And you're one of them. So I hope you'll understand why I'm quite possessive (I'm trying to tone it down, I swear) and why I always seem to get jealous.

Today, I realized that I am so blessed to have someone like you in my life. I didn't expect the surprise you prepared in Eat Bulaga. It made me feel special and that I somehow made a difference in your life too. I loved your gifts, especially the cake. I know I'm on a diet but you know I'll always eat anything as long as it's from you. That's how much I love you. *pabebe wave*

Kidding aside, I am really grateful that you took the time and effort to surprise me for my birthday. I know that you're quite busy (and you just got back from Japan) so I didn't really expect much. I didn't need much anyway. All I needed was my family, friends, and of course, you. Fine, you can imagine me grinning like a loon right now because I'm really happy.