Not Your Average Glader (Completed)

Chapter 22: Grieving Funeral

From my prison, I watch as sanity as we knew it hangs limp in the balance. Tears are shed, anger and fear run deep. It reminds me of our early days.

One boy purposely walks in front of my cell and kicks dirt in my face with the heel of his shoe, choking my airways. His deed is done and I watch through hazy eyes as he stomps off.

'I deserved that.'

With buring eyes I watch as Alby and Newt attempt to calm everyone down. Their words are unsuccessful.

'They just found out their trusted runner not only lied and had boys run the maze but he got them killed by creatures he already knew about. No wonder they can not be calmed. They probably want my head on a stick. Alby would give it. I would give it.'

I close my eyes as there is only so much a body can take at a time. I try to recall those last few days but most is a blur. A horrible blur that refuses to slow down.

As the darkness of the Slammer grows on me, I begin my belated aplogizes.

'Morris, Bobby, George, Kevin, I'm sorry I played on your youth and hopes. I'm sorry I lied and sent you to die. I didn't mean for it to happen, I only wanted to find a way out of here.'

I stop to consider my words. Toward the end what was it I was hoping to accomplish? What crazy idea ran through my head? My head aches from the sudden exertion and I continue my aplogizes.

'John, I betrayed our friendship. I hurt you. I should have listened. I'm sorry. "

The aplogizes build up, over and over I say sorry but it does nothing to ease my guilt.

》 》 》 》 》 [ ] 《 《 《 《 《 《

"Graham?"

"John?" I sit up. Dirt clods stick to my face from where I fell asleep on the ground. John kneels down in front of my window.

"I'm not supposed to be here but I have to tell you something. " He whispers urgently.

I wait, expecting the worst.

"There is going to be a funeral tonight. "

I only nod slightly, no words come to mind.

"There was a gathering. About you. There are rumors, Graham. "

Somehow I knew the Slammer would not be my only punishment. The Slammer is for minor crimes and disruptions. What I did was evil and unforgivable.

"I won't tell you what the rumors are in case they are wrong. " John finishes.

He wants me to say something, anything. I know if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't be able to take the silence.

"Bye," He begins to stand and leave.

"Wait! I'm sorry!" I exclaim.

He looks at me and gives a slight smile. "I know you're sorry. We all are. "

》》》》》[]《《《《《

Several lit torches light the Glade In the chilly evening. The Gladers sit in a cluster on the ground. The pain and grief play plainly on their faces as the light from the fire flickers. Alby and Newt stand, ready to lead the mourners through the dark hour.

Alby begins quietly, almost too quiet for me to hear from the Slammer.

"To say that today was tragic is putting it mildly. We've lost friends. Strong, brave and wonderful friends who could have lived long and prosperous lives. "

"Don't let this tragedy destroy you. After all we've been through, all the progress we have made, don't let it be wasted just because-"

Alby has to stop himself as his voice is raised and he is pointing. Not toward the crate that holds the monster but at me.

Newt steps in and finishes.

"Don't grieve because of pity. Don't grieve because of fear. Grieve because of love. Use your grieving to make you stronger. "

"We will keep our lost friends in memory and will take back lessons from their mistakes. "

There is a silence as the words settle down over the mournful Gladers. After a moment they stand and head off in to the woods, carrying four small crosses.

I turn from the window and huddle in the darkest corner I can find in the cell.

"I'm sorry." I say aloud to everyone and to no one.

A/N
Ok guys, here is the chapter that disappeared. Hope you all are ready for the next chapter - things are about to come to a close..... not on a happy note.....