Pills and Buttons

Cry

Edward didn't have any ice cream last night, going to bed after eating only a spoonful of noodles. He couldn't stomach any of it, his thoughts too jumbled. He would write them down, but he couldn't see the page to do so. And as if he would have Riza transfer his thoughts to the page.

So, he started a voice diary.

Roy has been gone two days, not so much as a peep from anyone that had any idea where he was. I feel so stupid for asking him if he loved me. Of course he doesn't! He's too dark and handsome to be stuck with someone scrawny and sick like me. He felt hot tears roll down his cheeks, his eyes burning from restraint. Why did I have to get to the point I couldn't even walk? Why did I allow myself to get kidnapped? Why why why?!

A broken sob tore through his lips, his eyes squeezing shut. He shut the recorder off, shoving it harshly under the pillows he uses to sleep on. It's all my fault was all he could even think about. He couldn't even think for a second that Roy made his decision and that he had only a small role.

Where are you?! Edward screamed in his head, silencing himself with a fist his his mouth. I'm sorry! I love you!!

==========

Roy blew a piece of hair out of his face, walking down an abandoned highway with rubbed raw wrists and a hagger expression being all he had. His hands were shoved into his gloves then into his pockets in vain attempt to keep warm. The rain from a week ago and last night had brought in a chill from the North side, making his bone rattle around in his skin. He just wanted a cup of hot chocolate and maybe some time to cuddle up on the couch. Just the thoughts seemed to seep with warm and they warmed his heart and soul a bit.

He stopped underneath a highway bridge, his onyx locks of hair blowing wildly in the wind that would bring in the next wave of storms. His collar was popped up around his ears, tickling his neck with each step. He still can't remember how he got out here. The last thing he remembers is seeing the Hughes ghost in the gas station lights. The sun was at his back, setting in the East and lighting the clouds rolling in with orange accents. For some reason he went back to the day Ed asked him to describe the sunset.

"Is the sun going down?" Ed yawned again, trying to silence it.

"It is." He responded slowly, wondering why it mattered.

"Describe it for me?" The statement was turned into a question, and Roy nodded.

He missed that, watching the young alchemist fighting off sleep to hear about the sunset. His heart twisted painfully as his vision blurred. Tears pressed themselves to Roy's eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks as he walked. He knew he was going in the right direction. The smell of the city was clinging to the breeze that blew at him, the smoggy air a welcome. It was familiar.

Roy put one foot in front of the other, wanting to find another bridge or maybe a house to bunk it to ride out the storm. His thoughts wandered to the possibility of a car going by. It wasn't likely. Plus there was a chance who ever he got in the car with would do some very unbecoming shit to him. That would not fly. A gloved hand ran through coal colored hair, messing it up as he went. The wind didn't help make it any less messy.

Hey Fullmetal. He felt stupid for doing this, but he was doing it anyway. I don't know if you can hear me. Probably can't. He snorts, lips raising in one corner slightly before dropping again. I just want to say I'm sorry. I didn't answer your question honestly. I do love you. Roy looked at the sky, feet still moving forward. It took a pair of storms, about five miles of highway and a ghost from the past to figure it out, but I finally realized it. Roy licked his lips, gusts of air whistling in his ears loudly. He didn't hear the car racing up behind him til the headlights cast his shadow. By then it was too late. I love you so m --. The car tried to swerve out of the way but it was in vain, as Roy stood in a form of paralysis. His body rolled over the windshield after smacking ribs first into the front, landing on the road with a loud thud. The driver and passenger got out, the two sets of feet blurry in his vision.

"Oh my god, are you alive sir?!" The woman had deep brown hair pinned up on the top of her head in a ponytail. She knelt down beside him, pressing two fingers to his pulse point. It was strong, scared and quick. "Quick, call an ambulance!" Roy couldn't hear anything after that, his ears flooded by the sounds of his pounding heart. Edward...

He felt himself being lifted and cradled into a set of strong arms before feeling soft leather brushed to his cheek. He was in the back of a car. His eyes flickered, trying to see what was going on. The rain was overhead, coming down in sheets and washing away the blood from the street and the car. The woman was in the front seat with her husband, leaning back to keep him awake. I'm sorry...

"It's gonna be okay, we're taking you to Rush Valley. It's just a few minutes away." I love you.

The rain pounded the car.

Please forgive me.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I'M SORRY