First Impression: Not going to lie, the blurb sounds pretty cliche. It is extremely simple, and has no tension whatsoever. Nerdy girl doesnt have any friends until some boy she meets, blah blah blah, high school, blah blah childhood friendship reunion.
And that cover really isn't doing you any favors. A couple of anime teenagers, and text that is partially off the screen. Please change it.Hook: Sigh. Okay. This book is just... Well there's not much to say here that I didn't already mention in the first impression so let's move along.
Plot: Everything I expected it to be. Generic, by the numbers, and honestly, uninteresting.
Language: While the grammar isn't perfect, it is good, so I'll give you that. However, there are two big problems.
One, in the first 4 chapters (which is as much as I read) it is PURE EXPOSITION. The main character drones on about her childhood, and you don't even try to show not tell. I understand you're trying to set up a backstory, but it's just so bland and emotionless. There's almost no detail or description.
Also, they're supposed to be eight, right? Kids don't talk like that! Like seriously, "I intend to make you my friend," when have you heard a child say that? I know they're supposed to be smart and everything, but come on, it's so unrealistic.
Characters:
Rose: Ahhh, where to start with her. First off, she's boring. So she's basically the cool nerd stereotype, and basically nothing else. Also, she's everything you say she is. Allow me to explain.
She says that she doesn't have friends because all the other kids are scared she'll judge them. And what does she do the moment Romeo walks in? JUDGE HIM.
Also, she is so melodramatic. Rose says that she doesn't want Romeo to be afraid of her or dislike her, so what does she do? Hm, maybe be nice to him? Try to appear friendly and answer when he tries to talk to her? NOPE. She ignores him.
Romeo: Somehow even more boring than Rose. Talks like a thirty year old. Will probably be super hot in high school.
Romeo and Rose's parents: Who gives a crap? Obviously not you, since you didn't bother to develop or even explain them beyond the factories they're really smart and expect a lot from their kids.
How Cliche Your Story Is: I'd have to say a 9. From what I've read so far, there really wasn't anything to convince me that you didn't just watch a bunch of anime and them write this story. (Speaking of which, the anime/manga influence is pretty clear. Not just from the cover and pictures, but just the way it's structured and written.)How Well You Dealt With The Cliches: A 2. Because I can't say one and not feel like a terrible person afterwards.
Overall Grade: I feel really bad for doing this, but D-. If you just bothered to develop and flesh out the characters, add much more description and imagery, and not nearly tell as much, I could've overlooked the cliches.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/70007620-288-k604798.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
Cliche Or Not Critiques
RandomIs your story a unique hidden gem or a copy of everything that's already been written? Find out here. Let's face it, writing a story in this day and age that is completely original is literally impossible. It's all been done before, and will be done...