This is the first part of a non traditional non fan fiction story about a rock star, a nervous breakdown and a mad stalker. Cake is required in the reading of this book. No famous people were hurt in the writing of this book.
Then I discovered HER...her name was...not important...we'll call her stalker girl. She was very lonely, very sad, very...oh my goodness I'm describing me...scratch that...she was completely obsessed, had cats and thought Ricky Wilson was going to run off to France to live with her, phew, I had me worried that I was her then...luckily I don't live in France. Every comment she made was based in the gutter, she didn't even attempt the joys of innuendo, no she went straight to the filth and the blatant offerings of sexual favours that I suspect would've made even the most experienced of rock stars blush. The others looked sane in comparison...heck I looked sane in comparison.
Stalker girl looked normal...which was worrying in itself...but that's where it ended. At the point I found her she had just dyed her hair brown, because she thought Ricky liked brunettes, and stopped eating dairy, because she heard Ricky was lactose intolerant. How she knew these things I haven't a clue...so I researched them...okay maybe I was verging on stalking here but the parameters are a little blurred with internet 'research'. Okay, I'm sticking with research cos stalking makes me look a little weird...and I'm really not...well...not totally any way. Back to stalker girl whose Twitter account was a mine of information for the potential stalking slash murderous madperson. She knew where he lived, did his shopping, had his hair cut, his favourite food, drink, tv programs...it was as if she really did know him...okay so after intensive 'research' I knew these things too...but that doesn't count...I'M NOW ABSOLUTELY SURE IT WAS ALL STALKER GIRLS FAULT...well possibly.
It appeared that Stalker girl had been shunned from the other fangirls online groups after her many worrying comments...who knew internet stalking was so moral? She was warned for comments that were quite close to the knuckle...these women had obviously not seen her facebook page. There she had posted photos of Ricky Wilsons head stuck on various other celebrity mens half-naked bodies...this was either ingenious or deranged. My psychologist...court appointed...later told me that this was a normal, innocent way of working out an individuals personal fantasies...that deserves another eeek. Obviously that's what I should've tried first when I couldn't find any photos of him throwing...maybe sticking Ricky Wilsons head on a darts players body would've broken my dream...why didn't I think of that first, before the inevitable string of events leading up to...we're still calling it the accident.
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