This is the first part of a non traditional non fan fiction story about a rock star, a nervous breakdown and a mad stalker. Cake is required in the reading of this book. No famous people were hurt in the writing of this book.
I am seriously never chasing...wait...following...anyone EVER again...it is exhausting, you just never realise what stalkers go through until you are one...or trying to find one, they're incredibly sneaky and hard working. We knew we'd reached our destination when he finally ran across a road and into a building, any further and we'd be following him in an ambulance...we may have been a tad more noticeable then though...hmmm. As soon as we arrived I recognised her...it was Stalker girl...I did the happy dance in my head...yes I am aware of how sad that sounds...but at the time I was having trouble breathing and co-ordinating my legs...we landed in a heap at the side of the road and observed Stalker girls activities.
We attempted to look inconspicuous, tried to blend in with our surroundings, our We heart London t-shirts might have given us away as tourists...Stalker girl was much better at this than I was. The best friend fell asleep under a near-by tree leaving me to watch Stalker girl...at this point I would like to remind people that although this all sounds like I was a stalker, I was actually just keeping an eye on the stalker, any stalkerish activity that it looked like I was doing was actually a front to cover my natural instinct to protect the real live stalker from herself. I'd also like to point out that this all seemed reasonable at the time...my brain may have been struggling from a lack of oxygen from all the running we'd just done...but...well...okay...maybe reasonable is a stretch.
Stalker girl sat there and just watched...The best friend slept...and I just stood there fiddling with my camera. Okay, I'll admit I was bored...stalking online...sorry I mean researching...researching online was much more interesting than watching a woman watch a house. I started snapping photos, flowers, trees, doors, houses, stalker girl climbing through a hedge, Stalker girl getting out binoculars, Stalker girl pretending to look at birds...what the heck was Stalker girl doing. I spun around, the camera snapping photos, the camera flash flashing, and Ricky Wilson leaving his house...oh my goodness was Stalker girl actually going to approach him...I admit I was mentally urging her to do something...anything that could be considered interesting...she clambered out of the hedge, leaves and twigs stuck to her hair...and she shot off after him. I was so thrilled for her...okay maybe thrilled was the wrong choice of words...she was a stalker after all...but she'd looked so happy in a really sinister way...okay thrilled was definitely the wrong choice.
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