Last (40)

Into the Flesh

24. Into the Flesh

The doctor decided to move Ed’s body to the ER, while I was there standing frozen on what I was seeing. I wouldn’t leave without Ed. I want to be with him, not for the rest of my life but for the rest of his. I may lack something, or maybe my imperfection looses the foundation of our relationship, but I will still love him—even in my other life. I looked at him, his face was blunt. I don’t know if he’s worried or just he was born to be calm even in the brink of his life and death. We’re not yet dead. Our body is still there. Ed muttered something I didn’t hear.

“What did you say?”

“Do you believe in destiny?”

Destiny is as broad as love. His question brought me back when I was young. Ed and I were classmates in the freshmen year. He came to me to borrow glue during the art class, and I know he got a new one in his table but it was just hidden from my view. All he need is to talk with me and I didn’t give any attention to him so he left me without any word. Girls put their attention to the seniors who played football and guys who wear body fit shirt so their V-shaped body and bulging chest can be noticed. I am one of those girls. I tend to like them just to have social approval, to be into the lives of the wannabes, the Marthas who seemed to living out from the current civilization, the attention-seeker, and the stars who are trying not to fall down. Peers create pressures and laying wrong road to be trod, and because of that I didn’t give any care to someone who was there with me since from the start. I believe Ed is a part of the miracles in my life. Destiny.

I took a deep breath and said, “Destiny is what we make it. We created them. We are them. We belong in those destinies. The growth of every living things, the spark of electricity, the chemical reaction in our body, the unexplainable—“

Edward kissed me. Our lips met and it was becoming a part of our destiny. We are destined to have a happy ending. I’ll end my destiny there.

“We create our own ending,” I whispered and saw him smiled. Suddenly everything went dark. Edward’s gone. Just a total darkness that made you feels dizzy. I heard muffled voices that I couldn’t understand. I heard them for a long time.

I wondered how many hours the darkness and the voices last. It might be days or weeks or maybe years. Until a tiny light came into the darkness and slowly it grew larger and the sounds turned to be vivid. I heard the beeping of a machine, the buzz of mosquito in my left ear. I also felt the roughness of the bed sheet, the hard uncomfortable pillow that supported my neck.

“Nurse!” someone shouted, “she’s gaining her consciousness.”

Am I gaining it or it’s just a part of this another life? Then it occurred that I was squeezing my eyes. Colors turned into shapes and the first person I saw was Edward.

“Ed…”

“Hush my love,” he said, “you need to reserve your energy.”

“How did—“

He smiled, trying to tell me that I know what he meant. I knew it.

“You’ve been sleeping for two months and I was worried about you.”

What two months? Whoa!

Later on, my parents came, balloons came, my neighbors that I didn’t really notice in the neighborhood came, a cake came, and finally a whisper in my ear from Ed came, “Destiny is what we make it. Happy birthday, Meg.”

My eyes went teary and my heart seems like bursting in happiness. I was overwhelmed. Birthday—that word made me remember of Thomas, my dead brother, Chip’s kiss on my lips, Edward’s gift, Kippy’s meaningful stare at me. Those memories will last forever; it was my yesterday that seems to be so slow. My past that will always last that I will keep on visiting, but never to live it again.

It was timely; I woke up in my birthday? Were they expecting me to wake up that’s why they prepared a party? Life is a mystery. First thing you cried, last thing you smiled. Yesterday you die, and tomorrow after the long darkness we’ll be born again. A new placenta will coat us and mold us again in the womb from the different dimension.

Three days later, the doctor permitted me to went home and gain more energy. Edward helped me in many things while I was resting, watching National Geographic Channel. It made me missed my friends: Patient X, Y, and Z. I missed Granny the Great. I missed Samantha who might be somewhere. I missed Kippy and Chip. Such a weird thing to miss the people who cause you pain. I'm sure Kippy is having a hard time in Dickenson Rehab. She might meet my friends there, I'm sure she'll have a good time. Ed told me that she's taking meth for a long time and Chip was put into jail for fifteen years together with his friends, except for Andre. Ed didn't file a case to him. I'll meet Chip again when I turn thirty-five.

“It seems that everything happened yesterday, just a day ago.”

“I know,” Ed replied putting his arms around me. “It’s still fresh.”

I chuckled.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just I missed how it feels to be with you; touching you, slipping my fingers through your hair. It seems that humans are the physical form of love. Love is not intangible, it is tangible. Would you agree with that?”

“I do,” Ed kissed me passionately and I was trying to match his fierceness. I could feel how warm his body was. He pulled off his shirt, and led me to my room. “Wait,” I told him before he unbutton his pants. I locked the door and jumped in the bed as if it was a pool where we could skinny dipping. I started to unbutton my blouse.

We made love in hunger, frenzied and every movement was a surprise. “I love you, Meg.” He whispered and we went to the rhythm like a poet rhyming a poem. We went into the epiphany and we ended it with a smile on our face, still chasing our breath.

“Oh, wait!” I stood and wrapped my body with blanket leaving Ed on the bed. I took my pen and papers, Ed wore back his pants and stood behind me. I started to write fast, as fast as I can while Ed patiently observed me. Ed went out for awhile to make a coffee for both of us. Finally, I wrote the title and showed it to him after finishing the last chapter. He thought it sounded great and unique.

“Last 40” I looked at the title with a smile.