The Exile

Chapter 9: Charm and Snowball Fights

Tonight wasn't supposed to be a late night.

After my visit with Fate, it had triggered quite a bit of memories and unwanted feelings. I went to bed with a lot on my mind and I paid the price for it. I woke up, covered in a cold sweat and shaking from head to toe. I  had a dream about Cerberus. Well, it was more of a memory. The night I died, the night I killed my father, it all came rushing back to me that night and I ended up in the hallways of my house, at four in the morning, with a cup of coffee in my hand. 

My hands were shaking quite viciously and I had become jumpy at every single noise, every creak and groan of my house. Dreams of Cerberus often left me in this state. A state in which I was frightened of my own shadow. His face didn't leave me in a good state, it never did. 

I was standing at my window, waiting for the sun to come up when a voice spoke up behind me and nearly made me drop the mug of scolding hot substance all over myself. 

"You can't sleep either?" 

Myrina comes to join me at the window, waiting the slight snowfall coming down from the sky, during the early, early morning. So early that it was still dark out. 

"Bad dreams," I say. 

"Same here," she mutters quietly. She must notice my hand shaking, because she says, "Really shook you up, huh?"

I nod, silently. "What was yours about?" I ask, despite myself. She probably wouldn't want to answer it anyway. 

"Old memories," I was surprised she told me that much. And I wouldn't push for anything more than that. I didn't even mean to ask in the first place. "You?"

"Same here," I found myself saying the same thing she had said to me. "Are you okay?" 

She nods, though I can see her blue eyes are a bit dim. I can imagine what her dreams were about, seeing as I know a lot of her past. "Are you?"

"I will be in a moment," I take another sip from my coffee mug. 

She sighs, her icy breath falling over my arm. I'm thankful she's on my right and not my left, otherwise I wouldn't be able to feel it, because of the aesthetic arm. "You know it's kind of a relief talking with someone who has nightmares too. Darius sometimes gets annoyed with me when I wake him up in the middle of the night, because I had a bad dream." 

My annoyance meter spiked up a bit at hearing that. Then the anger settled in. Darius is not her true love. 

I am. A tiny voice whispers in the back of my mind. 

"That is despicable," I say, which I didn't actually mean to. I didn't want her to know how much I disliked her husband. I don't know why, but I didn't want her to think I hated anyone. "If you ever need to talk about them, you can talk to me." 

"Thank you," she says, though I'm not sure if she will. "Koul says you have a lot of bad dreams." 

I shifted a bit on my feet uncomfortably. "I do. I was the leader of the biggest war this world has ever seen." 

"You must have a lot of trauma then," she suddenly looks concerned for my well-being and I want to fall to my knees at the look in her eyes. It looks just like when we were younger. "Jeez, why am I talking about having bad dreams? You must have them a lot worse than I do." 

"I don't really have dreams about the war, honestly," and it was honest. I barely remember anything from it. What I do remember is the look in Cerberus's eyes and the way I wanted to kill everyone. That power was far too powerful, far too twisted for anyone to use it. I just hope wherever it is it's far away from anyone. "Just about my family."