Destiel One Shots

Clueless

 Cas had always been quite clueless to the obvious, once watching porn and was quite oblivious to it, until his older brother, Gabe, had hastily turned it off and had to explain the whole thing to him, because Cas was confused on why the pizza man had smacked the babysitter's rear if he truly loved her.

Needless to say, this had always caused quite awkward conversations.

"Gabe, why do women write numbers on a napkin? It doesn't make any sense," Cas asked one night, fumbling with a Rubik's cube.

Gabriel sighed. "Cassie, we've been over this. It's when she likes someone, so she wants to talk or do other things with them."

"Why can't they just talk then?"

"Because they might be busy," Gabe said, exasperated.

"They could talk while they're busy."

"Be quiet."

"Okay."

On another occasion, they were staying in a hotel so they could enjoy the beach when both of them got off of work.

They were laying on the couch, watching a show, when you could hear moans, and thumping. Gabe hit the wall a couple of times, but it didn't seem to slow the couple in their activities.

"Gabe, what are they doing? They shouldn't be carrying anything that heavy for that long," Cas asked, turning to look at Gabe with a quizzical look on his face, and his head slightly tilted to the side.

"They're having sex," Gabe said bluntly.

Castiel's eyes widened, and he whispered, "really?"

Gabe sighed. "And this is why you're a virgin, my friend."

But all of these moments were leading up to the single, most embarrassing thing that both Gabe and Cas will ever experience. They were in a local grocery store, picking up some snacks for a movie, but they couldn't seem to find gummy bears for Cas, and the wandered around, and ended up getting lost in some aisle.

They probably looked pretty lost, because a man with bright green eyes and sandy blond hair approached them, and Cas noticed his name was Dean, thanks to his nametag.

"Can I help you?" Dean asked.

"Well, we were looking for gummy bears, but got lost along the way," Gabe answered, gesturing around them.

Cas got that tilted head and quizzical look on his face, and Gabe's heart froze.

Before Dean could answer, Cas pointed to a box of condoms and asked, "are these thin socks?"

Gabe's face turned to a bright red, and Dean burst out laughing so hard that he sank to the floor.

"It's-it's a condom," he sputtered out, before laughing even harder than he had.

"What's a condom?" Cas asked.

"I'll tell you later," Gabe said quickly, and gave Cas the "I will murder you for this when we get home" look.

"Oh, okay."

When Dean finally recovered himself, he got up, and directed them towards the gummy bears, after wiping his eyes and chuckling a bit more.

"Wait, while you're still here," Dean said, fumbling in his pants pocket, "here's my number. Call me sometime."

He handed the number to Cas, and he took it in shocked silence. Dean winked and left, and Castiel turned to Gabe with a smug look on his face.

"Look who wants to talk to me, Gabe," he said triumphantly.

Gabe laughed. "Good for you, Cassie."

A/N

Whatcha think of my second one shot here? I get my inspiration by just looking up "OTP prompts", and it usually has creative and funny ideas, and I really liked this one, so I decided to write a one shot of it! I think it's funny, but not really fluffy, but eh. 

Enjoy, my lovely hedgehogs.

Inu