Aligned | Finn Hudson

It's Brittany Bitch

(Brittany's POV)

Between Sectionals practice in Glee Club, Cheerios practice, giving a mud bath to Lord Tubbington every day at six, and scissor skype calls with Santana, I can't juggle it all without being tired. As my alleged birth mother and pop star Britney Spears once said, "I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt." I know that has nothing to do with what I'm saying, but I'm the student body president, and I can say what I want to say, bitch.

Mr. Schuester caught me sleeping in Spanish today when he was talking about some girl named Cinco De Mayo. She sounded nice and all, but I needed to rest. He sent me down to the nurses office to sleep a little and come back to learn about another person named Enchalada. I walked in and the nurse turned and smiled to me. "Hello Ms. Pierce, how can I help you?" She folded her hands in her lap. "Yeah so I fell asleep learning about a model named Cinco De Mayo and Mr. Schuester wanted me to come down here to rest." I held my arms behind my back. "I've got something else." She held up her finger. I stood patiently in the doorway and saw her pull out a box and a tray of pills. "These are caffeine pills." She popped one out of the little tray and signaled me over to her. "These will give you a boost of energy for a few hours."

She opened my hand and placed one in. "Go get some water from the cooler over there, then lay on the cot for a few minutes to let it soak in." She turned back to her desk and I looked at the orange pill in my hand. I walked over to the cooler and poured water into a Dixie cup. I remember when Britney Spears promoted Flintstones gummies once. I ate a bunch before school one day and once I got to Glee Club, I was trying to do flips off my chair. I put the pill in my mouth and took some water. I threw the cup away and sat down on the little bed. I flattened my skirt and laid back. I crossed my hands over my stomach and started to feel even more sleepy. "I thought these were supposed to make me more awake." I asked the nurse. "They will, just give it time." All of the sudden, I saw Britney Spears walk up to my cot and smile to me.

"You should go to sleep, you look a little tired." She grinned. "You're so hot in real life." I whispered, feeling my eyes fall down more. She giggled and watched me slowly start to sleep.

I opened my eyes and found myself in the middle of a street. I looked up and something purple was falling from the sky. "Pretty." I gazed at it. "Come on Brittany!" A man shouted from below. I looked down and he was peeking out of a sewer cover. I grabbed his hand and he helped me down.

Brittany: This kitten got your tongue tied in knots, I see. Spit it out cause I'm dying for company.

I got down to the bottom and started strutting through the halls of the pipes with some other girls.

Brittany: I notice that you got it. You notice that I want it. You know that I can take it. To the next level, baby. If you want this good ish. Sicker than the remix Baby, let me blow your mind tonight.

We made it to the middle and everyone was dancing around us. I looked down at myself and I was in Britney's outfit. I always knew I was secretly her.

Brittany: I can't take it, take it, take no more. Never felt like, felt like this before. Come on get me, get me on the floor. DJ what you, what you waiting for?

I've always known I can dance amazingly, but never like Britney. Her moves are so perfect, and only one person can mimic them. And that is me. And possibly Jesus.

All: Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh.

Everyone surrounded me and started pulling their chest to the beat.

Brittany: I can't take it, take it, take no more. Never felt like, felt like this before. Come on get me, get me on the floor. DJ what you, what you waiting for?

We all started dancing again, and it felt great. Kind of like fondue at the right temperature. Sometimes I bathe Lord Tubbington in it instead of mud.

All: Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh.

Brittany: See the sunlight, we ain't stopping. Keep on dancing till the world ends. If you feel it let it happen. Keep on dancing till the world ends. Keep on dancing till the world ends, Keep on dancing till the world ends.

The sun started peaking through a sewer cover someone left open. All of us fell to the ground, but I stood standing and took in the heat. We all began to cheer as a DJ started spinning the music again

All: Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh ohhh.

I peaked my head out of the cover and looked around, seeing everything was untouched

Brittany: See the sunlight, we ain't stopping. Keep on dancing till the world ends. If you feel it let it happen. Keep on dancing till the world ends

I woke up and looked around. I was back in the nurses office, on the cot, and Britney was gone. "Okay Brittany I'm gonna send you back to class." The nurse said from her desk, not looking up at me. As I started to walk out, I stopped and turned back to her.

"Do you mind if if have some of those?" I cocked my head and smiled.