Love & Self Loathing

7/4/16.1

Jasmine's POV

Sometimes you just have to escape. Sometimes this world is beating you down. Well, this world has been beating me down for too long. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having to have a babysitter, I'm 24 years old. I am an adult, but I'm not treated like one. I'm treated like someone with a mental illness, who has to be watched 24/7. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of all of it. I just want it to all be over. I looked at my phone, several missed calls from her, several voicemail's, several texts. She says that I'm going to be dead when I get home. I'm going to be dead way before that. 

My phone vibrated, assuming it was her again, I ignored it. But I was too curious, I wanted to know what she was going to do to me when I got home. It wasn't a text from her, it was a missing person's report. I can't believe she cared enough to send a missing person's report. It says I've been missing since 7:00 a.m. yesterday. I wasn't even up at 7:00 a.m. Oh great, the report even says the mental illnesses I have. She's doing anything to get me back. I kept on walking, turning off my phone and refusing to make eye contact. I finally got to my last stop. The Golden Gate bridge. Suicides hotline. I walked up to the railing and stared out into the depths of the water. 

"Jump already!" I heard someone yell behind me. 

I shrugged, I just want to feel at peace before I go. 

Edwin's POV

I wish I could go tell Kyle and Bobby where I'm going. But they'll find out soon enough. I just want them to know that I love them and I never meant to cause any harm. It's just that sometimes I feel like a real burden. And I don't want to be in a world without old Sal. He was my best friend, no he is my best friend. Some days, he was my only friend. I want to be with my best friend. I ran to the Golden Gate Bridge, in tears. I want this pain to be over. I don't want to feel anymore. I just want to be lifeless. 

Just like in 9th grade, when people told me I was sick. When I had that breakdown. That boy needs therapy. That's all I ever heard, I don't need therapy. I need to be left alone. I need to have peace. I need to be free. I just want my entire world to collapse. Don't want medication, I don't want to forget about the most important things in my life anymore. I don't hear them anymore. 

"Come on, jump already. You got nothing to lose." 

"I'm not doing this for you. This is my own decision. You can't control me anymore." I muttered in anger. 

I looked behind me and noticed that no one cared. No one is trying to stop me. Doesn't that prove how much I don't matter. I saw the people in cars, drive by slowly. They all just stared at me. I saw a little girl who was crying and pointing at me. I'm sorry you have to see this. I hope you don't have to go through the same pain as me. No one should ever feel the way I do. I looked to my right, people avoided eye contact with me. Then I looked to my left, everyone did the same. But I noticed something else to my left. Someone was about to do the same thing as me. 

For some reason, I released myself from the railing and slowly started to walk up to this person. The closer I got the more she looked familiar. Then I stopped next to her. She didn't bother to make eye contact with me. But I held her hand. For some reason, when I saw someone about to make the choice that I was going to make, I realized, the world wasn't so bad. I thought back to yesterday when I was admiring everything and how much I loved it. 

"Don't." That was the word I need to hear, hopefully it's the same one she needs to hear too. 

She stepped off and took her hands off the railing. She turned and looked at me, "You're the only who cares, why?" She's so apathetic. 

"Because I was about to jump."

She just looked at me, "Jacobs."

I looked at her confused. How does she know my last name? Why does she look so familiar?

"Edwin Jacobs," She added, "You look the exact same."

"How do you know me?"

"I had a feeling you forgot who I was, but I never forgot my best friend. The only one who really understood me. Then you left and I was sent off to fend for myself. I never blamed you for it." 

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Jasmine Goode. We went to school together. You were my best friend."

I thought about for a second and looked her directly in the eyes. Jasmine Goode, the only one who didn't think I was crazy. My best friend.

"I didn't graduate, I had to leave because they I had problems." 

"I didn't graduate either."

"Why were you about to jump?" She questioned.

"I was sad, you?"

"I guess I could say the same." 

I grabbed her hand again and smiled, "Do you want to meet my sister and see my home? She's probably super worried about me. I know I would be too. You're going to love her, she's so good to me and she'll be good to you."

Jasmine nodded and I ran off with her to my home. I'm happy I met Jasmine today. I'm pretty sure I would've been drenched by now. But now I'm happy and I can see Bobby again. I can't wait until she meets Jasmine. Those two are going to get along so well. I am so happy.