Love & Self Loathing

7/6/16.1

Edwin's POV

I had a hard day yesterday. Bobby said that those people weren't my friends and she was right. I don't know what I did to them, especially to Ian. Why did he punch me? It was he was doing it for no reason, just for fun. I wish he wouldn't have done that because I'm sad now. When we got home yesterday around 3:30 p.m. Kyle hung out downstairs while Jasmine and I were in the game room. I was playing video games and she just sat on a chair in the room. I was hoping she would play with me. But I didn't want to ask because of the space rule. 

I would say it's about midnight and I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep. There are a few reasons why I can't fall asleep. The first being because my head really, really hurts. Second, I'm over thinking everything like I normally do when I'm sad. Third, I'm worried because Bobby went out with Kyle. I hope they're both okay. And the last reason is because I feel to sad to fall asleep. This is what Jasmine must feel like every night. I sat up in my bed, a little scared because I feel like I'm home alone and my room is really dark. I know Jasmine is in the other room, but she's quiet like a little mouse. 

I heard a knock on my door and didn't say anything mostly because I thought it would be robbers or something scary like that. Then I realized that I was stupid for thinking that, why would robbers knock on the door? I hopped out of bed and opened the door. It was Jasmine. She was actually looking at me. I noticed something in her hand, but was too distracted by the fact that she was looking at me in my eyes. Something that she has never been done before to me. What can I say? I'm in shock.

"Wanna play Mario Kart?" She questioned.

I nodded and we went into the game room. The game room is really just a Super Nintendo and a dart board, but that's only meant for Bobby. She's usually plays that when she's stressed. Anyways, we walked in and I set up the game. I always play as Luigi. Everyone usually says that I'm like him. The second in command. Bobby's brother or in this case, Mario's brother. When Bobby use to play she was always Mario. It was our little inside joke. I noticed that Jasmine picked Yoshi. 

"Are you always him?" I questioned.

She nodded, "Yeah, when I was younger, way before I met you, I would only wear green. I got the nickname Yoshi."

I just smiled, I didn't really have anything to say to that. It's not like I didn't enjoy the story, I really did. It was just so simple that it seem like it needed to continue. I hope that makes sense. 

"How's your eye feeling?" She asked.

I shrugged, "It's doing better. I can't fall asleep because of it."

"Lucky you, wish that was the reason why I couldn't fall asleep."

I didn't say anything. I always feel bad that she can't sleep.

"I'm surprised that you're not asking questions like you normally do." Jasmine added.

"I'm just shook up from yesterday."

"Yeah, that was weird. What's their issue with you?"

"Not sure, they just don't like me or Bobby or Kyle."

"Or me."

"That too. But since you brought it up, why do you seem so much open than usual?"

"Michele, she reminded me of someone who was very close to me. I guess I'm just thinking about the past and how happy I use to me."

I paused the game and looked at Jasmine, "Why aren't you happy anymore?"

"I told you that I didn't want to talk about it."

"Well, I want to know you better. Why don't we both say one problem that we have. It's doesn't have to be a big one, just something to have a better understanding of each other." 

Jasmine just nodded. She agreed to it, which probably means I should go first. 

"The doctors said that sometimes I have manic episodes."

"That actually explains a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety. But that's not the reason why I don't talk to people."  

"I'm not going to get that reason am I?"

She shrugged, "Maybe in time."

We continued to play. We played until Jasmine got really tired. She fell asleep and I forced myself to fall asleep. I didn't want to be too tired for breakfast. I like having conversations at breakfast. Plus some sleep will probably make me feel better. I'm just going to avoid those two people as long as I can. I feel like there's no talking to them. Especially Ian. He's just a bully.