Excerpts Of a Sad Girl

Promises

I stared at her, the most beautiful girl in the world was sitting beside me, and as the moonlight shone on her golden spun locks of hair, I knew there was no one else I'd rather be with.
She suddenly stopped gazing at the crowd of people from below. So tiny. So meaningless. All that mattered in this moment is me and her.
She shifted her gaze to me and stared into my eyes. "What is it about the Ferris wheel?"
Quizzically, I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"
"Romantic, mostly. What's so alluring about a wheel?" She asked. "What's the meaning?"
I suppose she expected a dumb answer, like how it was symbol of my love for her, going through ups and downs together. Cheesy. But that's not the kind of response I wanted to give her.
I took a pause and closed my eyes. "It represents life and death. The wheel slowly turning, some are having a good time, some aren't. Some think it's love," I open my eyes and look at her before carrying on. "Others think it's stupid. It's all about perception. After life, comes death. The part where you stop in midair and everything just comes crashing down. Everything you believed in, relied so heavily on, is gone."
I smiled sadly at the love of my life, the most amazing girl, just didn't seem to understand how I feel about her. She's my best friend, yes, but I'll always see her as more.
"Maybe you just think it's a spinning wheel, as do lots of people. I once thought that too. But the Ferris wheel can be romantic and represent love, too... I was the same as you, but being with you tonight, makes me sure that it's not a lie.. That it's real and I don't want to waste another second."
She turned away and watched the lights flashing from the carnival below, the little people, and the starry lit sky.
I noticed a single tear slide down her cheek and I moved slightly closer.
Bringing my hand to her face, I brushed away the tear. "I know," I whispered, "I know what you've been through and you have trouble believing in love. But-"
She put her eyes back on me and cut me off by placing her finger to my lips.
I thought for a brief moment that she would kiss me. But that only happens in fairytales. And this, my friend, is as real as life gets.
We made eye contact, watching each other for the longest time, not speaking a word until the Ferris wheel pulled to a halt.
We were at the top.
I gave her a sheepish grin. "Maybe fate really does have an effect on life..."
She didn't even crack a smile. All she did was stare up at me with those electrifying blue eyes and leaned closer. "I... I don't know what I want in life... I don't even know who I am anymore. But I do know that this moment is never going to present itself again, there'll never be an opportunity to do this again. Okay, well, here it goes.... I'm in love with you. I've loved you ever since the end of 5th grade, ever since you helped me at Stacey porter's pool party. June 27th. I remember that day so well. You rescued me from being embarrassed and took me out to ice cream with your family. And that's the first time I ever felt like I could love again. After my parents abandoning me, after leaving all my friends behind, you were the only one who seemed to care, and for that, I will always love you."
I listened. I listened to what she said but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. You know what they say, I guess, actions speak louder than words.
And this action is going to declare my love from the rooftops.
I kissed her.
Kissing her was like trying your favourite food for the first time. Knowing you loved it, but also knowing that eventually you'll learn to love it even more, that it'll one day be your favourite.
Kissing her was like ending an amazing movie. Sad because it ended, but happy knowing that you can re watch it over and never get sick of it.
Kissing her was kissing my entire world, in that one kiss, I had found exactly what I needed. Who I wanted. And I can't put my feelings into words so I kissed her again.
I swear, this was better than those sparking fake kisses on movie screens. This was real and happening to me. With the girl I love.
I pulled back and whispered, "I love you too. I promise to always love you."
She shook her head, tears falling. "Promises are always being broken. Don't promise. Just let it last. Please let this moment last forever."
"Anything for you."
And I never made another promise to her again.