Excerpts Of a Sad Girl

Him.

"Why does no one ever like me?" He lamented, staring down at the ground. He pushed a rock with the scuff of his sneaker and looked back up at me. "Why am I always so alone?"
I couldn't help it - I stared at him, dumbfounded. No one?! NO ONE ever likes you? No one ever has dreams about you, or thinks about you while she's watching a movie or listening to a song? No one ever wishes she can make you smile, no one ever wants to see you and spend time with you? No one spends hours obsessing over you, daydreaming, wishing that you would see her the way she sees you?
That's bullshit.
Straight up bullshit.
What about me? Are you really so oblivious that you don't see this plain and ordinary girl? I, Allison Baker, like you.
You really don't see that? The way I blush when I'm around you, or when you text me I get so happy that my smile covers my whole face? That when we talk it's the highlight of my day?
You don't see it?
Maybe more people than you know, like you. Maybe there's a bunch of girls who are vying for your attention.
I know that Im one of them...
Really, though, how could someone NOT fall for your cute smile or gorgeous eyes, or even fall for that annoying yet adorable personality? Surprisingly, you can make me laugh.
ME.
I never laugh - but somehow you make me smile and laugh and make my cheeks glow bright red.
You do all this, to a girl.
A girl you'll probably never have feelings for.
I wish I could be your dream girl, I really wish I could. But I know I'm not perfect - I have many flaws and I'm not amazing or beautiful.... I just wish that you would have the same feelings that I have for you. I want that so badly.
I don't say any of that, though, in fear I might be shut down and rejected.
I smiled weakly at him. "I'm sure someone out there has feelings for you," I whispered meekly, my heart internally breaking.
Won't you ever see me, in the crowd of people, won't you ever find me?

When I got home later that night, I stood in front of my mirror and looked at myself. Carefully, I took in my dull red hair and my green-blue eyes. "I'm not your type at all," I whispered, watching my eyes fill with tears. "But... Who else would watch your favourite movies and tv shows? Who else would listen to your favourite songs and bands, JUST because she wanted to feel close to you?" I ranted. "Who else would stay up later than she wanted because she enjoyed talking to you more than she liked her sleep? Who else would fall asleep with her phone in hand because she's texting YOU, but sleep got the best of her. Who else would - and yes this is weird - make a version of you in her video game and get super pumped when you confess your love for her? Sadly it's only a game... Why can't life work out the same as it does in video games? You know, the sad thing is... You don't realize that someone really does like you a LOT. So you believe no one has a "major crush" on you. Then there's me, I actually don't have someone who likes me... Unfortunately, even if they did, I... I want it to be you. I want you, not other guys, just you. But you don't want me, so I'll have to live with that." I whipped around and stalked over to my bed, pulling out my phone. I opened up "notes" and began to write down parts of my rant.
When I finished, I pressed "copy", opened up wattpad, and pasted my whole paragraph onto a new book.
I knew that when he saw it, he would know how I feel - but he was worth the risk.
I pressed "publish" and as the loading sign appeared, I panicked inwardly.
It was done.