Lucky Boy [Hamilton AU] (Lams)

1

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out my window. I didn't really feel like moving or doing anything really. I barely felt like breathing. I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. What was wrong with me today? Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

I bolted up and walked over to the door, looking through the peep hole. "Laurens, I know you're home. I forgot my key!" It was Lafayette. I had moved into the spare bedroom in their apartment last year, my sophomore year of college. Freshman are required to live on campus, but they put me in the girls dorm because it was still not obvious that I had started my transition. I loved my long curly hair, and I didn't want to cut it off, so to everyone, well, except my closer friends, I just came off as a tomboy.

I unlocked the door and Laf came in shivering, carrying a bag of take-out food. "H-H-Holy f-f-fuck, it's cold outside," they said, removing the two sweaters and scarf. They took off their shoes and placed them nearly next to the door.

"Oh my gosh!" I faked concern, "Did the food get cold?" Laf shot me a glare. I laughed. "I'm just teasing, Laf. Are you actually okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey I'm gonna go change really quick, vous avez peu baiseur," they remarked. I laughed and propped myself up onto the countertop. I opened the bag and pulled out the boxes of food. One was much more heavier than the other, and that one was obviously Laf's. There was an extra box of food, just as heavy as theirs.

"Hey Laf," I called out.

"What?"

"Why is there an extra box of food?"

They came out of their bedroom wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt. "Oh, Herc is coming over in a little bit. He has a French exam in a couple of days and needs some help." I nodded, opening my box of Chinese food. The steam rose and made my face feel warm. I must have zoned out or something, because Laf gave me a soft shove, and they had a very concerned look on their face. "Are you okay John?" I looked down at my feet and sighed, twirling the noddles with my chopsticks.

"I... It's just dysphoria Laf, I... I need to take my pills..." I muttered, hopping off the counter and walking over to the medicine cabinet. I grabbed the bottle of testosterone pills. I felt like crying. Laf put their hand on my shoulder. They pulled me into a tight hug.

"Hey, look at me John," they started. I looked up, tears threatening to spill. "You're going to be okay. You'll see. How much longer until your top surgery?"

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes tightly. "Next month," I answered with a shaky voice. They pulled me into another hug and wiped my eyes. "Thanks for letting me live with you Laf. I couldn't stand staying in those dorms for another year. It made me feel like shit." They chuckled and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Bien sûr, John. Anything for a friend. I want to help you. Now take your meds and eat. You didn't eat last night," they said. I smiled and poured the pills into my hand. Lafayette handed me a bottle of water. I took the pills and I felt a little better. One day I'll really be John Laurens.

"Hey! A paper had to be written by midnight. And we both know I'm not that good of a writer." Laf laughed. There was a really loud knock on the door. "And there's Herc," I teased. They smiled and walked over to the door. I took back my spot on the counter and started to eat. "Hey Hercules!" I called out with a mouthful. He waved back at me.

"'Sup John!"

"Hungry?" Lafayette asked.

"Starved."

I laughed, because when wasn't he hungry. I handed him the box of food that Laf had bought him. He opened it immediately and basically inhaled that food. I loved my friends, they made me feel so good and valid. Hercules placed his backpack on the table and pulled out his French textbooks. I grabbed my water bottle and take-out box. "I'll be in my room if you need me. I have a history exam Monday morning, so I'll be studying."

"Alright, talk to you later Laurens!" Hercules said. I closed my door and hooked my headphones into my laptop. I let my music play and I wrote down notes as I flipped through my history textbook for what seemed like the millionth time. I sighed and took off my headphones, rubbing my ears. I took a swig of my water and decided to take a small, but well deserved, break. I put my journal in the textbook as my placeholder and put my laptop on my lap.

I opened Netflix and but I couldn't really decided on anything to watch. I checked my phone but I didn't have any notifications, unless Tumblr counted, but it was mostly just post notifications. I put my headphones back on and laid back on my bed, facing the ceiling. I went back to studying. I had to pass this test.

About two hours later, there was a knock on my door. "Hey John, Lafayette and I are going to head out to the bar. Wanna come?" Hercules asked. I nodded.

"Sure, just let me change." Hercules closed the door and I took my shirt off. I grabbed my binder and put it on. I put on a baggy t-shirt and some khakis that Lafayette bought me last year. They were baggy in some areas but when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw John. I saw myself. I smiled a bit. The testosterone made my boobs a little smaller than they were before, and the binder helped a lot. I grabbed my coat and my beanie. I slipped on my converse and stepped out of my room.

"Damn John, you dressing for someone?" Hercules teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, c'mom let's go. I've been trapped in here all day." I started walking to the door, shoving my hands in my pockets and walking a little slouched. I tried to hide my smile every time someone bumped me and said "Excuse me sir" or when we got to the bar and the bar tender asked "what can I get you sir". It felt so great.

[wow. okay. i really hope you guys like this. i don't know if it's going to be very long. but i did like the way this chapter came out so im going to continue it, hopefully some people will like it... k i t]