Love, La La La

Chapter 10

Almost a year has passed by. VIXX finally had their postponed comeback stage and we toured all over the world together. Things finally started to become normal again. Wonsik and I still had a bit of trouble around babies and our relationship hadn't been more intimate than kisses since the miscarriage but we were slowly recovering. We were finally on our way back home after landing in Incheon from the final concert in Japan. Wonsik and I get home and go straight to bed, exhausted from our travels.
We woke up at about 10 the next morning and refused to get out of bed. We watched tv and ordered food so we didn't have to move.
"This kind of reminds me of when we came back from Spain," Wonsik says just as I'm drifting back into sleep.
"Mhm," I respond in agreement. Just then, Wonsik's hand starts to wander. Just and it starts making its way under my shirt. I take hold of his hand. "I... I don't think I'm ready," I murmur. "I'm sorry. I... I just don't think I can yet... What if... What if something happens again..."
"It's okay. I understand. I can wait until you're ready," he says.
"Thank you... I love you," I kiss his cheek and lay my head down and drift off to sleep. We wake up a few hours later to knocks on the door. We go downstairs and find Hongbin and Taekwoon at the door.
"Hey guys! Have you rested up?" I ask as I open the door to let them in.
"Yup, I feel a lot better. How about you two?" Hongbin says as he steps in.
"We slept a lot," I respond and I give him a quick hug and then give Taekwoon another. We all head into the living room and talk for a while, mostly about the tour and all the crazy things that happened, including the time Jaehwan almost got kidnapped by some crazy fans. You'd think he'd be more attentive and careful at this point but he's still just our childlike Jaehwan. We eat some food and talk about the possibility of another comeback sometime soon but decide it'd probably be better to just rest for now. We talk until about midnight and Hongbin suggests maybe they should leave now. We offer them the spare rooms but they decide against it. We let them out and go back to bed. Wonsik falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow but I lay awake thinking.
Did they come to see how we were doing? Do they still worry about us that much? Maybe they think we're gonna do something crazy? No... They were probably just bored and wanted to see us, right? I'm probably just over analyzing everything anyway. I look up at Wonsik who is sleeping soundly and study his soft, yet worn features. He seems to have aged so much this past year... Well he has been through so much this year. We both have... I wish it hadn't ended that way. But we're getting through this together. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped him earlier... Maybe it's time we really do move on. Maybe it's time for us to finally have that baby...
I stare at his sleeping face for a little while longer and finally go to sleep. When I wake up, I see Wonsik staring down at me. "Morning sleeping beauty. You ready for a new day?"
"I'm ready. I'm ready for a new chapter, Wonsik," I reply.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"I mean...." I kiss his collar bone, cheek, then climb on top of him before kissing his lips, "I'm ready." I smirk seductively. Our fingers intertwine and I lean down to kiss him again.

I wake up a few hours later, my head on his bare chest and hand on his stomach. I try to get out of bed as quietly as possible to take a shower but I accidentally wake him up.
"Hey," he smiles down at me. "I missed feeling your warmth like that," he says.
"I missed it too. I was just afraid before," I admit.
"That's okay, I was too. But we need to stop being afraid. We need to live this life."
"You're right. No more fear. Just us, let's live for each other."
"So... Does that mean we can do it again?" he asks almost innocently.
I laugh before moving back up, "sure."