Satan, Succubus, Asmodeus. Demons of evil, sexual desire and lust/temptation. To what do I owe the honor? What have I done for you to come and take over like this? Was it my acts of sin done dead in the night? Or was it my need for a feeling that made you stumble out of your beds? Tell me where you have hidden the gallows. Or is my rope already tightening and the floor getting farther and farther from underneath my feet? I have broken myself to the point of incorrigibility. Is that why you came? To applaud my inability to be fixed? Well then you can go walk down your dark alleyways in hopes of being sought out for by some hungry emotionless bull. I, the fawn and you, the bull. Is that what you want? Me, a fawn to be strangled by the rope. My own rope that I have tied around my neck numerous times. And each time the river filling up higher and higher with salt-loaded drops of water. A naïve little fawn galloping through the fields unaware of the dangerous encounters up ahead. Such as Satan, demon of evil, Succubus, demon of sexual desire and Asmodeus, demon of lust. Unable to resist, the fawn shakes the hand of each one, relinquishing all rights to mind and body. How could you do that? Trap the fawn like that. But then I remember who you are. Filled with black veins you are the demons. I should be scared of you right? Shiver at the mention of your names. But instead, with your dark red eyes, I welcome you to my late nights of invasion and promiscuity. Pernicious you all are. You Succubus are the worst of all. Tempting those innocent souls to help you thrive on your elusive and faint happiness. So dangerous yet so strong you are. To not feel as the bulls penetrate through your barrier of innocence. Tell me something Succubus: how do you manage to feel absolutely nothing at a moment where even the dead would wake with a rush of emotion? Is it your lack of a heart that makes you so susceptible to the bulls? Them knowing that they can have you and you won't come back and tear apart their feeling of righteousness. I am contemplating my next step. Whether it be my first or my last, it will be my next step. Take me to your home. Show me what it's like to breathe deadly air. Does it make me disappear? To a land where small naïve fawns are not sought out by big hungry bulls? Or does it simply make me realize how dangerous you three are to me? Are you here to tell me who I am? To print my name on my arm so I can remember not to drown in the wanting to become someone else. And what do I give you in return? My organs? You can have them. Take my body and feed me to the vultures. Because I, the fawn, fell so madly in love with one. I gave it my weak little heart and she promised to keep it safe. She placed it in a freezer for days, weeks, months. And one day, just for fun she watched it melt and soon after devoured it. Every morsel swallowed. Down her throat and into hell it went. That's when I became the fool. Teach me your ways of not feeling Succubus. So I can give away my soul without repercussions. Without regret. Satan, give me your evil so the vulture can perish. Asmodeus, give me your lust and temptation so I can be the tempest instead of the victim. I, the weak foolish fawn have learned never to give my heart to anyone. Because beyond that person lie Abraxas, the demon of lies and deceit. I am familiar with this demon. But so is everyone. You inject me with poison. So hard I try to resist the strength of your poison but I am not strong enough. Only a young dear learning how to walk. It takes over me. Slashing me all over. I soon become used to the feeling. My body that once feared your deadly poison is now welcoming it with nudity at its presence. Asmodeus, you demon, how evil of you to use your powers like that. I am only but a fawn with no heart. Temptation. I am afraid of temptation. Because I know that at my lowest point when I am not myself I will yield to it. By will or just to make it go away. But let me tell you about this new demon. I shall not speak her name nor do I know it. But if I did I would not put it out there into the world, I would have fear that she may never disappear. She is scary this demon. Tempting, sin-ridden, bust so beautiful. Never before have I been so controlled and possessed. She is different. I befriended her knowing the damage she would do to me. I gave her my organs. Pens, paper. And she wrote. For hours. Using my organs as if she didn't then she would stop breathing. I gave her my organs so she could tell me who I was. Because I didn't know. But she took them. She ran away with the pen and paper. I, the fawn am a true fool. With no sense of direction or self-worth. Or else I would still have a heart and my organs. The fawn misses the demon. The viruses that I so willingly let crawl inside me has taken a hammer to my insides. And oh, how I miss that destruction. That feeling of enlightenment when I shook the hand of this demon. But now I am so tired. Dry and standing naked on the side of the road I am. You three, Satan, Succubus, and Asmodeus, are my evening meal. I so willingly devour you without any thought at all. My time is limited. As soon as the clock strikes 19, I am no longer a fawn, but a dear fresh for the reaping. A deer with no organs or heart because she was a foolish little fawn who pranced around the fields with her heart and organs lying on her back ready for the taking. Only they were taken by a vulture and a demon. Now that you know what a foolish fawn I am, tell me what is wrong with me.
