Won't Give Up [Book 4]

July 20th

July 20th

Do you remember all those times we spent together? I remember when we all gathered together and had a movie marathon. It was nice. Knowing that we were all together and having a good time.
But do you remember what you told me that night?
I never asked because I was concerned bout how you would respond. If you did remember, it could bring up an unwanted and uncomfortable conversation. 
If you didn't, you would want to know and would still bring up the conversation.
And I didn't want to hurt you. 
After everything you went through, I didn't want you to relive what had happened.
Even though I wasn't here for it, I can understand the feeling of not knowing what to do or think.
I just want everything to be okay. I don't want to have to  deal with the fact that you may not wake up. I don't know what would happen to me if you don't.
It's not something that I like to think about. But sometimes I have to. Because that is the only thing that is important to me right now. And that is to make sure you are okay.
But when I think about that,  I get a feeling that tells me that I have failed at that already.
I don't know.
I think it has to do with all the stress.
But I will pull through.

And so will you,
       Astrid.