Please Forgive Me

Tree

I lean against the tree trunk. I can't sleep. I'm scared to sleep. I don't want to sleep. I just stare at the night sky. I hear a rustling sound and I see Alex climbing up.
"Jackie, you wanna come down to the tree house? You've been up here for a while."
"I'm fine."
"You sure? You should at least sleep a bit."
"I'm fine." He sits on the same branch I'm sitting on and peers into my face.
"No, you're not. You need to sleep."
"I can't go to school. I can't leave town. I can't see my siblings."
"If you just do as you're told, you and your siblings will live. You want them to live don't you?"
"I don't think I should live. I don't deserve to-"
"Stop it! If your siblings find you dead, what are they gonna do?" I haven't looked him in the eyes at all. I'm scared if I look into someone's eyes again, I'll just see someone I can't do anything for, because I'm useless.

There was silence in the air for a few moments. "Look, we just gotta wait for the right time. Your brother is going to figure out this case. We just have to wait for it, to help him in the right direction."
"How? How are we going to do that? When Red Paint finds out we told, they'll kill us like dogs. We can't say anything."
"We can't say anything, but we were never told we couldn't leave secret notes. You know where he lives, where he works. We can leave him some ominous notes giving him leads."
"We can't, he checks the security cameras of the apartment and police station daily. He'll know who it is."
"Does that matter if he knows who it is?"
"If he finds me, he's risking his life. I'm not putting him in danger."
"He's a police officer. Danger is part of his job. Doesn't he deal with gun shots and wreck less drivers? He's risking his life everyday. You can't protect him forever."

He took out a piece of paper from his pocket. "I already made the note. Either you deliver it, or I will." I hang my head down.
"I don't think this is a good idea."
"Then you just stay here. I'll be back before you know it." He climbs down, I reach my hand to try to stop him.
"Alex!" He's out of my reach. He's already half way down the tree. I loose my balance and fall off the branch, on the floor of the tree house. I landed on my left arm. I try standing up, but my right leg is in shooting pain in my knee. I fall down, holding my arm. My body aches in pain. He's already gone. "That idiot." I take my hand off my arm, there's a large bruise. It almost looked like it would bleed. My knee is bruised, but not as bad as my arm.

I can't stand. If I can't stand, how am I going to climb down the tree to stop him? I can't do anything to stop him. If he gets caught it'll be my fault. It's always my fault. I'll take full responsibility if the group finds out. I sit on the floor of the tree house. Trying to hold in the pain. The wind gently blows through my hair. The cool air feels good on my arm and leg. But the pain still shoots though me. I sit in the dark silence, as I wait.

Is this a good idea? If we get caught, we could be killed. But if we get away from it, my brother could be killed. I would rather die than have my brother or sister be hurt or killed. I love my siblings more than anything in the world. I will choose to spare their lives over mine. Maybe this plan is our only chance. Alex is relentless, ambitious, and a genius. I hesitate, I restraint myself, and I am an idiot. This could work. This plan could work.