Please Forgive Me

Believe

Jackie's P.O.V.

Alex came back to the tree house only after being gone for about fifteen minutes. He climbed up and ran to me seeing I'm holding my arm.
"What happened to you?"
"After you left I fell off the branch."
"Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine. It's just a few bruises." He took some linen and wrapped my arm.
"So, did you send the letter?"
"Yes, I at least know where the police station is. I had my hood up. I told him we would help him with the notes. Your brother now knows the location of the hideout."
"What? H-how?"
"I texted him the address."
"What the heck were you thinking?!!" I grabbed him by the collar.
"What's wrong? I just gave him my phone number."
"You dumb idiot!! My brother can locate us!! Every contact in his phone is connected to his find friends app! Why do you think I left my phone behind?! He can track us!"
"I told him in the note that we would like to stay anonymous."
"That won't stop him! He's a detective! He'll find a way!"

I let him go and hold my head. Looking at the ground as I feel my energy draining from my body. "He's probably looking through the hideout right now. If he's looking through the hideout, he's gonna put secret cameras in the room."
"You don't know that."
"I think I know my own brother a bit more than you do. This isn't the first time he did this. Trust me." The wind blew gently through the air. "I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Just tell me that I'm dead right now." He put his hand on my shoulder. 
"You're not dead. I'm sure your brother will understand." I look him in the eyes.
"We had to steal. We had to vandalize. We had to hide. We had to lie. We were forced to kill people. Can you seriously look me in the eye and tell me that my brother and sister won't hate me for everything I did in this group?" His gaze floats away from me to the ground. "That's what I thought. We deserve to go to jail."
"It was not our faults that we were forced against our will to do those things. We only did those things to ensure the safety of our families."
"Just being involved with these kind of people, gets us a ticket to jail. Just put me in jail now." I sit down, burying my head in my hands. "If my brother or sister gets hurt, I'll never forgive myself. This is all my fault. I deserve to die. God just kill me now!! Take me now!!!" I'm crying out. "I deserve to go to hell."
"Jackie, if God can forgive you, your siblings can too."

I can feel warm arms wrapped around me. Alex was hugging me as I'm still curled up in a ball. "It will all be alright. We'll figure something out. Do you believe in God?"
"Yes." My voice was quite and feeble.
"Then believe. Believe that it will all turn out for the best. Believe that we will be delivered. I'm sure that your siblings are believing that you will be alright." My eyes widen and my vision is blurry from tears.

I wipe my eyes and gently push away from Alex. Then look out at the sky. I clear my throat.
"Ahem.. Well, it's almost night now. We should be heading over there." I start getting up to walk, then I feel a tug on my arm. Alex was gripping my hand as he was staring at me with a determined smile.
"Jackie, don't worry. I will never give up. You should know by now that I am persistent. I'm not done with this fight. And neither is God. Okay?" I grip his hand back and get him to his feet. I can feel a sense of hope again.
"You are persistent, I'll give you that. So, I have no more doubts that we'll make it out of this alive. I believe that we'll be delivered." Alex's expression, lit up.
"You finally smiled."
"Am I smiling?" I honestly couldn't tell if I did or not.
"I can see the hope in your eyes. I can see your faithfulness and determination all in your eyes. Your face may not say it. But eyes are the window to the soul. Your soul is strong. And so you're strong. So, what are we waiting for? Let's get going. We've got a long way to go." He starts climbing down the treehouse and I follow after him.

It's a clear night sky above us, as we run out of the forest. Staying in the dark alley ways. Once we get to the hideout, I check around to see if anyone is around. From what I can see there's no one around. Alex knocked on the door. Garret's voice calls out from the other side of the door.
"Identification." Alex holds up his hand to show the glove. Then the door opens, everyone is waiting around. It's quiet.
"Why's it quiet in here?"
"We're waiting on Mike." Mike was sitting on the ground writing on a piece of paper. He's planning again.

He stands up and places the paper on a box. "So Boss, what's the agenda?"
"It's a steal, boys."
"What is it this time?"
"New guns." The guys were all nodding. "Great." "Finally." Me and Alex just stay quiet.
"Hey Jackie, this means you can have your own gun." I gridded my teeth. I've been carrying Mike's pocket knife this entire time. I've never had to use it. I never want to. I've never wanted to use a gun. "You can keep my knife."
"Do I have to?"
"Oh, she speaks today. Yes, you have to. Any other words for today?" I keep my mouth shut. His hand grabbed my chin. "It's a shame, you're voice is-" I feel my shoulders be pulled me back. Alex is blocking Mike from me. "Alex, come on."
"If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't have to talk. You're already black mailing her. She's suffering enough." Mike just shrugged it off.
"Alright, whatever." His smirk, makes me feel paralyzed in fear. "You'll both come around to see things my way."

He clapped his hands twice. "Anyway, back to business. In a two months, there's a trading post who ordered guns. I had a look at them a while back and thought we need some new ones."
"So what's the plan to get them?"
"Same as always. A small group will go in and get the goods while the rest keep watch."
"Who's the group this time?"
"Alex, Garret, and Jack will go in. The rest of you will keep watch with me." Mike turned to face me. "Let's see if you can do what's necessary for the plan to be flawless."